Tuesday, May 30

Science says I'm not an asshole

Revenge: do it for society.

Altruistic punishment may be the glue that keeps societies together.

I honestly think this is the best thing I've heard since a doctor once told me drinking alcohol makes you smarter. Except that turned out not to be true. Now I don't trust anyone with a t-shirt that says "yes, I'm really a doctor"... you've ruined it for everyone! So that makes this the one and only actual time then. Still, pretty damn good.

Maybe I should make a new list on my 43 things, like My Name Is Earl. Only instead of making right all the things I did wrong... it'll be a list of all the people I have to find and let the air our of their tires/post naked pictures of them on the internet/punch in the face. Thank you, National Geographic!

Wednesday, May 24

I can fly a plane again!

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[courtesy of Rob]

A n n says:
other than fool people.. then im not sure what the point of the site is
Robert says:
you could say that same thing about Beth's site
A n n says:
good point

You gotta love the random Beth burns. I mean, I do. Regular posts coming when, well, regular stuff happens. So far, nada. All weird stuff. Cartoon porn and lasers. Still contemplating on whether or not to post actual pictures on here again. Until then, my princess birthday party will remian on the shelf.

Saturday, May 20

One step away from molesting the South Park kids

Edit: I actually had to do something I never thought I'd do. Go back and delete something I posted because there were too many perverts being directed to this website. Thanks for being the sour milk in my coffee.

I don't get it...

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Wednesday, May 17

make it happen

I found this great site called 43 things!

It encourages you to make a list of things you want to make happen in your life, then it shows you other people who are also trying to accomplish that task. You can write a blog about your progress, check off what you've accomplished, and recommend to other users what is worth doing and what's not. I think that's a fantastic idea, so I made a account too! So far I'm having a lot of fun with it, so I figured I'd share. You can put anything you want, obviously, and I think it's neat how honest and ridiculous some people's lists are. Like, hack into someone's computer. Wtf? lol. It makes me want to be honest and ridiculous too. And why not? It's my life, afterall. Professional Bee Keeping, here I come!!

I'm not going to post my list since for some reason lately I wouldn't want to influence anyone too much with my opinion. lol. So I'm encouraging anyone to make your own lists, make them as creative as you can, then make it happen. Unless you have "steal Ann's life" on your list ... in that case I'll suggest not making that one happen. Instead, maybe learn Japanese or create a Scorpion mailing service for the blind. I hear those are just about as useful, however, not as popular ;)

[14:05] Sean: you know the ice cap that hortons has?
[14:05] Sean: they have a vanilla bean one!
[14:05] Sean: OMFG
[14:05] Sean: heaven!
[14:05] Sean: but heaven costs 5 bucks

Tuesday, May 9

As good as you can copy and paste it

So apparently for the last 2 years I have had 2 websites. My own, and a really bad carbon copy of it "written" by a 17 year old girl from white-trash New Jersey (sorry New Jersey, I just can't like you anymore.. blame Beth Mandio. No hard feelings.)

You might ask yourself "but Ann, how did you find out about this if it's been happening for 2 years?? you never read Nancy Drew.... did you?" and my answer is, for your information, I read the babysitters club! and I'm only 110% ashamed to admit that. I also don't solve mysteries in my spare time so I figured it out because she was actually stupid enough to hotlink my entire picture set of my trip to Montreal on fotopic {cached copy if the link stops working}. Then I looked for and found all her other journals/everything online which were at least partially taken from something I wrote, conversation I posted etc.. from the perspective that she was me and "Ann" was her friend, but she also referred to me as Riley.

And now that I've read everything (I mean every dirty word) ... yanno, I don't see a reason why we wouldn't be friends! She wrote a list based on her observations of movies? I did too! We answer a lot of the same surveys (scroll down left column) the same way? That's amazing! She hates Oprah's Book club? (scroll down to highlighted yellow, it's been deleted) So do I! She thinks ripping people off is ok if they're stupid? Omg, me too!!

Think of it as she's the James Frey of the internet, and took a "Million Little Pieces" of my website for herself. So... what would you expect me to do in this situation?

Let me remind you for a second, a few internet losers told me I didn't know the meaning of "literally" back in September on some gay comment board on a website that isn't even that popular and nobody would check again.. and I went out of my way to dictionary those fucking jackasses back into their mothers basement. So, really, what would you expect me to do in this situation? Think about that for a second.

The answer is send her a courtesy box of scorpions in the mail labeled "tasty delicious cupcakes" but I didn't have her address so I did the next best thing: screen captured everything. What? you think I wouldn't go through the trouble of screen capturing it? Or how about every single relevant (60%+ copied content) entry there was? That's 90+ entries by the way. Each screen capture is a ridiculously large file size, so I'm not going to post them one by one because that's a poor use of my time, but I'll just show you some directly comparable entries.... yanno, to really illustrate what I mean when I say she's as crazy as the day is long.

  1. new years [my post: dec 29] vs [her copy: dec 31] ...also re-posted on her myspace blog!
  2. she also mixes my entries together --- ipod {aug19} & tanorexia vs [her copy 1 & 2]
  3. then she actually emailed me asking for my advice --- http://web.archive.org/web/20050126233642/http://asgoodasitgets.org/ vs [her copy]

Pretty creative stuff right? See that's one thing nobody appreciates about liars... their ingenuity, their dedication. Remember.. there are at least 80 more of them! Probably because she really wants to be a writer... nice profile. I also have a friend named Brooke who snorts when she laughs. Like I said, we have so much in common it's a true crime we're not actually friends.

In the meantime... who likes cached links? I know I do! Mostly because, you can't delete them :) I'll just refer to them with her original "never seen before" titles, and if you've read my site for any length of time I won't need to explain any of it.

  1. Don't go quietly
  2. I think you're wild when you flash that fragile smile ( 1 extra page)
  3. Beth's Blurty
  4. as good as it gets!


Those take some time and attention to read, so here's a few of my personal favourite moments:

  1. When her journal won AOL Editors Pick.. and all the people who congratulated her!
  2. Her posting pictures of me and a bridge troll of an ex-boyfriend on her "Summer 05" webshots list. I puked like 45 times. That's dehydration level puking, fyi.
  3. Comments by "Ann" on her pictures of Jersey --- she posted those comments, a picture of someone else as "Ann" and Jersey looks a lot like NH&Maine. Oh wait, it is.
  4. Uh myspace or myspace? --- blog, profile

I love the "About Me" blurb she chose for her profile. Not written by me, but irony is better than Jesus.

You can make a fresh start at any moment you choose, cuz this thing we call "failure" isn't falling on ur ass but when you get up accept the stupid mistake, or careless error in judgment. For some people this may be weird to read because im usually known as a funny, immature girl, but shit happens when you least expect it baby.

If you'd like to get to know me better i'd be flattered!! Don't be coy IM my trickarsss: bethdangerously

bethdangerously.. what a great idea for a screen name! See when I thought of it, it was from that movie Johnny Dangerously with Michael Keaton, because he was SO COOL with his silver cigarette case... but I bet she's got an even better explanation of where that came from. Don't be coy, feel free to ask her, or get to know her better. Her real AIM names and contact info is:

aangelisqt@aol.com ... itz_mandioO@hotmail.com ... http://myspace.com/bethmandio (you'll have to add her to your friends)

Why do all this for someone not really worth the effort? One word. Balls. Ok two words, MASSIVE BALLS. You've got to have some real, genuine, watermelon-sized balls to actually submit what essentially is someone else's website content in a contest. That's like me pasting a picture of your dad onto my face and having sex with his wife. AKA YOUR MOM. Because to my knowledge there is nothing more inflammatory than telling someone you're going to give it to their Mom. That's what my website is to me. Mom sex. It's not great, it's not award winning (or maybe it is now) sometimes it's silly or stupid or confusing or uninteresting... it could be spelled wrong, punctuated horribly, and insulting to your religion... but it's still mine and it's going to stay that way.

So in case that mom sex comment threw you off, or you're overwhelmed by "crazy" and you can't determine what point I'm trying to make, I'll make it super-duper clear that next time it happens, causing someone's fake online universe to collapse won't be enough for me.

While I appreciate the totally f'd compliment that I am a talented writer, or that my opinions are worth duplicating, that I'm cool, or that I have a way more interesting life than you... this is going way too far. For example, if I go as far as she's gone in impersonating me I might say that if it happens again I will hunt you down and kill your parents. Unless you don't like your parents.. in that case, I will make them more alive somehow. Like, introduce them to a sensible diet and exercise plan so that they live a really really really long time.

You don't want to know how far I'll go.

For another more realistic example, if in all my google-ing I found out that someone related to you (possibly your dad) has a law firm in the state you live... I might contact them and ask if I have a case against you, and to familiarize me with the law in NJ about this specific situation. I'm a curious girl, I am. But .. I bet "Beth-Ann" knows that.

And anyone who ever google's your name will forever be sent to this page. You're welcome.

Monday, May 8

Associating hunger with fear

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Why can't he be more like Mayor McCheese? Also... why is this $45? Don't they understand that I can't jusify smelling like cookies for more than maybe 20 dollars? I absolutely need to make other people hungry when I sit near them, and when they get close I yell RAPE! RAPIST! SOMEBODY HELP ME! Haha, that'd be great. Except if you are unfortunately the victim of a real rape.. in that case you probably think I'm worse than Hitler. That's totally fine with me.

You know, everything I want should be free... or jusifiable. And no, changing my wants to things like "sunny days and life-saving anti-biotics" isn't a realistic alternative solution.
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