Saturday, September 16

Adventures in ordering crap

"Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken."

So let me get right to the point, last night Andrea and I got totally FUCKED up and went to see Talladega Nights. We didn't really need to get fucked up, obviously, and I kinda didn't plan on it but my god was that movie hilarious. Wasn't it? It was right? Okay I'm going to have to watch it again. I laughed so hard everytime that one guy made a comment.. yanno, that one guy. He's all PEACHES AND CREAM!! Wtf is that?

Anyways, the best part was right before the movie. I'm not sure why I thought I was OK enough to order snacks because I definitely was not. This is exactly what happened:

First of all I thought I was in line but apparently I was just standing in front of the menu, so as I walk up to the counter these 3 pimple faced 12 year old guys are all "uhhh okaaaay." Real authoritative by the way, start letting random chicks call the shots and you have no chance whatsoever when you get into a relationship, IF that ever happens for you.

I order anyway.
What? I at least THOUGHT I was in line.. I waited for people ahead of me. That counts.

Me: Hi I'd like the number 2 combo please (which is 2 popcorns and 2 drinks)
Guy: Ok what would you like to drink?
Me: Ice, ya I'll have ice... Andrea do you want ice? we both want ice.
Guy: *staring at me with a cup in his hand*
Me: Oh coke. Yes two cokes and ice. What? some people don't get ice!
Guy: Ok would you like butter on your popcorn?
Me: Andrea, butter? ya butter.
Guy: That will be 22.50
Me: Oh wait I also want Reeces Pieces.

I pay, put the reeces pieces in my purse... and walk away. I come back 5 seconds later and get my popcorn, Andrea gets hers and we head over to our theater. She's about to hand him the tickets when I notice we have no drinks, so she says she'll go get them. I'm glad because I've figured out by now that everyone we've encountered so far thinks we've just been struck by lightening. So I spend the next 2 minutes standing in front of the ticket guy laughing quietly to myself.. which really helped my case. Just a tip: when people think you're mentally challenged, laughing for no reason always changes people's minds.

Andrea comes back with one drink.
We don't go back for the other. It is dead to me.

Afterwards we go to Demitre's and I can't decide what I want. When the waiter comes I say "listen all I want is hot brownies with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, fudge sauce and I want it on top of a waffle... can you do that?"

They did and it was the best thing ever. Best night ever! Just wish I could remember more of it.. and less of how fucking buttery that popcorn was. Like 100% pure butter, I'm not joking. I might as well have just injected maple syrup into my heart.


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