Sunday, December 17

Is that baby body glitter?

Disclaimer: this post is in no way intended to be racist or making fun of asian's putting on make-up

This is hands down THE BEST Christmas shopping story ever, and it doesn't even have anything to do with talking a gun-toting Santa down from the roof a mall. So we're shopping, yadda yadda, completely zoned out like the rest of the xmas zombies and trying to find a DVD to watch that night ...when the flow of traffic is stopped due to multiple baby-stroller jam. About 3 separate mothers are trying to intersect eachother in one tiny walking lane, in Walmart of all places, so just picture that. We stand there patiently while they sort out who goes where... then the way is cleared and we continue walking down the isle. About 5 seconds later both Sean and I stop, turn to eachother with a weird look on our faces, and go "was that... was.. that baby's ...eyebrows drawn on?" confirming that yes, we both saw it, and yes someones mother had actually DRAWN ON (with black eyeliner) skinny MAD LOOKING LATINA eyebrows, not to mention "cat eye" lined the actual eyes. OF A BABY! ...who looked, at most, 5 months old. Although with all that make-up I could have sworn she was the tiniest 15-year old I've ever seen. There was no mistaking it, that baby had make-up on... and that is both the most hilarious and saddest thing I have ever seen! Clearly, the only thing sadder is that I do not have a picture of it.

Re-enactment photo.

This is, with no exaggeration whatsoever, exactly what that baby looked like (as she was also asian) except she was wearing a pink bear-like hat.

I feel so sorry for this poor baby that I used in my example.. how could you, in all seriousness, do this to your child??? haha. Did she wake up that day and say to herself "You know what, that's it, I am SO SICK of my baby's lack of eyebrows! She is a total failure in hair growing of the facial area! I see how all the other babies make fun of my baby, and I can see their mothers whispering 'zero-brow' to eachother when we stroll by. At this rate I don't know how she will even stand a chance of getting into a decent college! I am going to draw some on, like a drag queen... but angrier and while I have my eyeliner out here I'll just dress up the eyes up a little bit as to make her cuter, and more popular with boy babies"

Haha oh God, I know what I want for Christmas!!

Dear Jesus,
Please send me that child's picture with Santa. I'll also accept a family portrait, where hopefully everybody has eyebrows like this... even the men.



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