Sunday, April 30

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech

Wait for it. It'll be worth it, I promise.




In the meantime, here are Robbie's pictures from the Deathcab for Cutie show. Much better than mine were, for sure. Though I did get a pretty awesome shot of Franz Ferdinand up close.

http://flickr.com/photos/rbisnath/

The only thing that would have made it any better was if:

  1. Someone didn't pull the fire alarm during my two favourite songs
  2. They served anything but beer. ANYTHING.
  3. The two teenage couples in front of us hadn't bought their tickets specifically so they could have a spot to make-out that wasn't their basements/mom's car
  4. No seriously... they made out the entire time...
  5. I'm not even continuing the list, that's how ridiuculous it was

Thursday, April 13

Venomous or Totally Safe?

Just in time for Easter!

I'm feeling a little better, not entirely, but good enough not to get arrested if I ask a cop for the time. It's good news. Really. Anyways, as you can imagine.. being sick means not a lot of really exciting stuff happens to you (except if you want to hear about the amazing sale at No Frills on Stouffers Skillet Sensations, $2.97 each.. go buy as many as you can safely carry, they're delicious!) But that just made me think, I really wish my life were like a talk show. Not just for the cool guests, or getting them to play strange games with you.. but I'd love to have one of those animal guys just drop by my house with Elephants and shit and tell me stuff about them. Seriously. I want to sign up for that. We'd both be perminantely entertained because I'd write all about it.

It'd go something like this:

"So this guy brought some poisonous snakes over. I think he was gay. I can't put my finger on it, I guess it was just the way he held his straw. I got new straws by the way, No Frills.. 5 for a dollar. Anyways, so I got him to throw me in a pit with the biggest snake.. just for laughs. I don't really remember what happened, but ever since I have these horrifying night-terrors. I wake up screaming SNAKES!! SNAKES!! Tomorrow Dr. Phil is coming over and I'm going to ask him what that means. We're also going to play "Venomous or Totally Safe?" .. hint, none of them are totally safe. Plus special musical guest on Monday's show will be Deathcab for Cutie."


See that last one is actually true because I've got 2 tickets to see them and Franz Ferdinand play at the Ricoh Coliseum. Holy crap I'm excited.




"Before you marry someone, you should see them with the flu."

- Dr. Phil

Monday, April 10

I've got the Black Lung

Subsequent to all this unseasonable drinking I'm now sick. This means I have a voice comparible only to a transgendered lounge singer, or someone with the Black Lung from working long hours in the coal mines. Notice how I didn't make a bird flu reference. Omg I got bird flu, omg don't eat at the Asian KFC! It's not one of the funny diseases, I'm sorry.

Anyways, pictures of the princess (peach vodka) party will be up later. Right now, I have to go proposition some gay men in a bad neighbourhood and dig for diamonds.. aka, take some cough medicine and sit on the couch and write hatemail.



Dear LCBO cashier,

As flattering as it is to get carded at 24, it's not that funny to make me drive home and back. It's also not cute to point out that, while I did in fact drive myself there, I do not have my license with me. My unpreparedness should only be an indicator of just how unecessary it is to even carry ID. It should also tell you I always follow the rules of the road carefully, as to not get pulled over. If you scored higer in the logic portion of your SAT's and got into college instead of working at the liquor store, you'd notice I was in a hurry. People under the age of 19 are never in a hurry because they have nowhere to be except the mall.. and it was well past 6:00, lady.

Sincerely, Ann-Marie




I had a quote from the party that Antonella said but for the life of me I can't remember what it was now. It was good though. Bird Flu punchline good.

Wednesday, April 5

"you're gonna get yours!"

There are three things that I can't resist, nomatter what...

1. Nutella (damn you!!)
2. An Episode of Lost

&

3. Smiling when someone I don't like gets totally screwed

I'm only going to talk about the last one, although all of the above kinda make me feel guilty. Seriously, damn you.. makers of Nutella. Anyways, I just can't help but love it when someone I don't like gets screwed in some way. Not because I wished it upon them or sat here angrily muttering "you're gonna get yours!" to nobody but my tv. It's just 100% of the satisfaction with 0% of the work. Who doesn't dig that? Some people might rub it in, or point it out and be assholes... and that is where you and I part ways on this little spite adventure. I don't do that (even though I'd really love to... so maybe I am an asshole?) Smiling is ok though.


Anyway, at the party everybody simultaniously agreed that I should bring back the quotes I used to have on my site. Apparently it was a really big deal to get on my list etc. and I had no idea, but it makes sense. My approval is pretty gratifying. So in the spirit of inspiring competition and making off-side comments famous... it's back! and so you know everything is fair game.


Kevin says:
someone made a "your mom" type of comment, and he got real serious and said "my mom died from cancer on christmas eve"

Kevin says:
i busted out laughing, so i hope he was joking

___________

Kevin says:
the other night i was up until like 3am watching david hasselhoff videos on youtube

A n n - M a r i e says:
did it haunt your dreams?

Kevin says:
i think i got turned on a little bit

Monday, April 3

Were you surprised?

Turning 24 turned out to be pretty great. I got a couple nice surprises, which is amazing since 1. it's hard to surprise me .. and 2. seeing as I'm rarely surprised, when you actually do catch me off guard I suddenly lose half my IQ and I'm all "whaaat?" and say stuff like "um do you guys want chips, I bought chips... I don't even like chips". Anyhow, I would have updated sooner but I've been drunk for two days (and lazy for one). Kinda accidentally, if you must know. I technically only had like 2 drinks and I was all flushed and ranting on about .. something. Whatever it was I just remember becoming really aware that I was the only person talking about it, I forgot what my point was like 28 times, and it was also 2am. I think my new limit is "the point where you start saying everything you think" .. ya, I'm one of those people.

So the events happen like this: Friday I drove (3 friggin hours) to Hamilton, saw my dad and grandparents (yay elliptical machine! yay coffee and cake!) and went for dinner at the Keg. Next time I really will order the steak, I'm just not a steak-y person but it was really good so that doesn't matter. Saturday when we got home from dinner at Rocco's (aka the best place to get italian food other than my grandma's house) there were a bunch of homeless people at my house ready to surprise me. lol. Instead of stealing my stuff and stabbing me, we just had a party. Some of my friends couldn't make it so we're having another party next weekend. I don't think I can act surprised for that one. Then to end the weekend, on Sunday Brooke and I drank a giant bottle of wine and watched A History of Violence. I'd go into how terrible it was but why bother.. just the fact that I'm telling you we were drinking and we STILL found the entire thing to be fucking ridiculous and cheesy is enough. To make up for it, we also drank all the Bailey's and made sandwiches.

Soooooo thanks to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday, and hoped I had fun! I did, in fact, have fun. But the best part was knowing that even if one year I don't make a big deal, other people still will and that makes me a pretty lucky girl :)
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