Tuesday, January 29

Little Plastic Milk Hats



New Flickr pics are up of our snowboarding adventure. It was a lot of fun!  I am black&blue, sore, and happy I went. That said, the bruise count is up to 5 right now. My favourite is the one on my right thigh that is about the size of a cell phone.  I call it "that little bastard".  It was from my first time realizing that I had no idea how to steer!

Anyways, I thought I should let you know how that went.  Hopefully we'll go again soon.  As soon as I typed that my body took control of my hand and slapped myself in the face.  Weird.


So I consider myself somewhat of an idea person, meaning I invent things from time to time. Most of these inventions are just things I think will make other inventions better.. so don't think I am inventing lightbulbs here. If I were I think I would have mentioned it, oh once or twice by now. Anyways! I don't want to advertise all my good ideas because I am sure the minute I did one would get stolen and used by some shifty-eyed guy to make a billion dollars and then I will be FORCED to throw this computer out the window and move to France. And I don't want to do that! What I will divulge to you is my first invention idea. I can't say how young I was but at some point in my little life I became interested in milk bags. Of course I remembered this story yesterday for absolutely no reason other than I was opening a milk bag. I used to watch my Grandma open a new bag with scissors all the time, and decided it was pretty silly that we throw away that little plastic triangle that is cut off. 


I automatically assumed it was used for something, but when I asked her she said we just throw it away. Unbelievable, right? Throw away a perfectly good.... uh... hmm. I tried to figure out a way to use it, as doll hats, finger puppets, fake nails (or nail protectors!) ETC... but it never worked out. They truly were USELESS. I threw my little girl hands up in disgust! Later on there was that invention of the blade that sticks on your fridge to open the bag of milk, which I thought was neat.  And I believe there have been some inventions since then trying to seal the bag back up after it is opened.  However these are not really addressing the problem of the useless plastic milk-hat which gets thrown away, which is clearly the more important issue. To this day, while it was my first inventive idea, it remains unsolved. So if anyone out there has any great ideas on what to do with those plastic milk bag triangles, I would love to hear them!  If I like it, I will tell you my great adult cereal idea.*
















*No it is not just 2 Cheerios stuck together and renamed Titty'Os.

Monday, January 28

I have Moving Picture Sickness

What Causes Motion Sickness?

Motion sickness occurs when the brain receives conflicting messages from the inner ear, the eyes, and other parts of the body.

While watching Cloverfield, viewers were sitting still in their seats, so their inner ear was telling their body they were motionless. But the bumpy camera movements -- and their eyes -- misled them into thinking they were moving around erratically.

These conflicting messages to the brain lead to symptoms of motion sickness, most notably nausea. Other symptoms include vomiting, headache, and sweating.

[Full Article via WebMD]


Yes, I have the mysterious Cloverfield sickness.  I watched it last night, unsuspecting, and do you want to know what it feels like exactly?  The spins, without the alcohol.  For anyone who also was affected by the movie, you will understand how disappointing it was.  And anyone who hasn't seen it, I am just warning you it may happen and totally ruin EVERYTHING!

I don't think Sean fully understood how sick I was getting but I literally could not look at the screen for most of it, or even the motion shadows it was casting on the floor.  I was fairly close to throwing up, breathing hard, and my stomach was literally eating itself to the point I had all kinds of gas trapped in it.  This phenomenon may sound pretty silly to someone who was alright watching the movie, but for me it was basically an hour of torture.  I was really looking forward to it, too.  I love J. J. Abrams.  I also recall now that I had this same reaction during the Blair Witch Project and had to leave.  So weird. This still doesn't fully make sense to me since I am not motion sick on boats or cars or planes etc.  ...so there's a little fun fact for you.  Strap me to the Superman roller-coaster for 2 hours but please, for the love of God, do not make me watch shaky camera movements!

Friday, January 25

It's Friday

Search of the Week:

A person from Seattle WA was directed here after their google search of "Mark Paul Gosslar"  Special mention - they were running windows 98 and on dial-up.  

That is exactly the type of person who still wonders... Hey, whatever happened to Zack Morris??





Man I love searches.  Before I move on, I can't stress enough how disturbing I find it that a lot (5 just this week) of people get to my website by typing LESBIAN CARTOONS.  If this is you.... stop doing that, you have an animated sickness.  It would just help me sleep better at night knowing that whatever freaks read this, at least they don't touch themselves every time they wonder if Strawberry Shortcake and Smurfette had a crush on each other.  I hope this is the last time I will say this but I have a feeling it's not.  


Re: my crush doom list.  Sadly, I have to add Heath Ledger.  The reason he was not on it previously is 1. his movies are not crappy (I will leave A Knights Tale out of this, out of respect).  In fact, I still love 10 things I Hate about You.  A lot of people do.  &  2. he was still relevant.  Batman is really going to be great, and I still really can't wait to see it.


Saturday I'm going snowboarding during the day.  I am pretty excited about all the fun ways the snow is going to make me it's bitch.  I am READY for it!  I'm also pretty positive I will get no sympathy since Andrea flat out told me if I fall she will shove snow in my mouth.  Later that night we are all-out partying for my cousins duel 25th birthday.  Overall it's looking like Saturday will be a great day!  And a little rockstar, if I do say so, and I just did.

Monday, January 21

Good Old Days

I just got tagged in some Facebook pics from my High School days that I had never seen before.  You know, way back when you took a picture and had no idea what it looked like right after it was taken, but it didn't really matter until the technology was invented.  Your batteries also lasted longer and the fun times never took a pause due to scrolling through the picture that was just taken and agreeing if it sucked or not.  Then you had to develop the film with doubles, for those who didn't bring their camera, and everything!  Man those were the days....


The first one is my best friend Jenny from December's Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Said story, part 17. And second is some Halloween dance, though I am not sure what everyone else is supposed to be. lol.

















































....and just to prove my uniform anecdote is 100% unexaggerated, here is photographic evidence that I wore a SWEATER in summer time just to avoid tucking in my shirt.  

















Anyway, as for the new, I finally got my new glasses this week and in the seeing category I am very pleased.  I also bought a fireplace for the livingroom.  Just like that, it starts snowing like crazy today... so clearly the fireplace was a top notch idea!  So sit back and think about how awesome that is.

Wednesday, January 16

Back when crushes were innocent and movies were bad


2 years ago my web service provider royally screwed up and asgoodasitgets.org was put on hiatus until it all got sorted out.  In the meantime I blogged about a few things here or there.  One entry is particularly relevant today, so I thought to repeat it.



December 24, 2005 

On the weekend I was at my grandma's house and we were in my old room (completely the way I left it when I was 14). She was showing me what she got for my mother for her birthday/christmas because that's the closet she keeps all sorts of gifts. For some reason she opened one of the dresser drawers.. probably to make me wear some kind of knit hat she thought was in there and there were a couple of magazine cut outs on the bottom. You know, from like Tiger Beat... seriously. So I laughed because I remembered the exact day me and my cousins cut those out and talked about who was who's boyfriend, and how nobody wanted Jonathan Taylor Thomas because he had a huge ugly mole on his neck. Haha. Anyway, so my grandma is all "ohh your posters are still here! you know, he's really cute!" .. which kinda reminded me of that time she had that crush on Joey Lawrence and we're all "giggle .. omgz grandma, he's so old!" This time though, she was talking about Jonathan Brandis.. from LadyBugs and aka the only reason I watched SeaQuest DSV. It was the issue where we go to Jonathan's real house and he plays with his dog and tells us what he likes in a girl. Anyway, if I were still 11 or so I woulda been all "hells ya he's such a hottie!!" ..instead I found myself saying "he committed suicide you know."

Today I run into this news story.


Brad Renfro arrested on Skid Row for trying to buy heroin from an undercover police officer.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com



He looks like some guy I would give money to on the street so that he would stop talking to me! Where'd his hair go?? He was so one of the hottest crushes ever! If he had walked up to me and said "Hi" I'd probably rip his clothes off in front of my own mother, that's how hott he was (two t's). For Gods sake, I watched The Client, The Cure and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huck Finn.. no less than 8000 times. And Elijah Wood (The Good Son, remember that?) who wants to bet $10 he's gay? Nobody? Yeah that's what I thought. I'm not saying gay = as bad as killing yourself or being a serial killer looking drug addict, but it's right up there with "how to crush a young girl's dreams and make her totally question anyone she's ever been attracted to" as well as "why have I wasted most of my youth watching really really crappy movies?" I don't even want to know what happened to the kid from Last Action Hero... he's probably a tranny or something.

DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS? I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS OVER HERE!



_________________________________


Today I read Brad Renfro is dead.  So uh, yeah.. I think everyone I have had a pre-teen crushfest on should be pretty concerned.  Elijah Wood and Leonardo DiCaprio.. you might be next!  Even though it's probably the Return to House on Haunted Hill talking, I'd say they're clearly marked for death.  
I mentioned the kid from Last Action Hero but I looked him up and he looks like this now.  I'd say he's more likely to kill someone else, if he hasn't already.  Or maybe he dies in some sort of shoot out with the police, directly related to just how serial killerish he looks.  Why can't this happen to Andrea?  Tell me anyone would care if Mark Paul Gosslar died right now.  Ok, maybe his parents... maybe.



Fun fact: While watching the previously mentioned movie last night, which ironically is really crappy but involves ugly people, I blurted out "Oh this is great, I haven't had a nightmare in a while.  I am really looking forward to it!" and unfortunately I did.  On the bright side it was a nightmare where everyone was just a horrible actor.  

Tuesday, January 15

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

My friends, I am in mattress heaven.  Man does it feel good.  In 3 days I will be in Birthday Hell purgatory, as Amber commented, Babyface is getting old.  And in one week I will be in vision heaven, because I am finally getting new glasses.  I've put it off for some time (wtf 3 years) for absolutely no reason, and my eyes have worsened to the point I could barely read the chart WITH them on.  Apparently at my age your vision slows down on what I like to call self-retardation.. and levels out to whatever level of suck you are currently at.  I am stoked since that sort of thing is important to me.  Every time I get my prescription updated it's almost comparable to how a person with no legs feels when they go from a standard wheelchair to one that is motorized.  Every. Damn.  Time.

Nnnnnnooooooo
 


I have been watching movies basically every night and felt like maybe I should post the most enjoyable, perhaps to inspire you to have a great night in.. or out.  Last night I have to say, was my favourite movie+soundtrack combo.  

Juno.




The rest are:

4. Hitman 
3. 310 to Yuma 
2. Walk Hard 
1. No Country for Old Men


As for the comment from Benjamin (coincidentally also my new neighbor, how crazy is that) upon further speculation (aka walking into my garage filled with boxes) I have to admit that I own a semi-habit/compulsion called Pizza Depot.  It's at the end of the street and I'm sure if you have tried it you and I will share this habit with me very soon.  All the delivery guys know me on sight and that is SAD.  Really really very depressing.... like Norm from Cheers who had his own stool in the bar and dug a permanent ass print into it.  Whatever you do though, Benjamin, don't try the orange dipping sauce.  I don't wish the "cheesy jalapeno" compulsion/habit on anyone.  It is too powerful.  Take it from someone who was never convinced to need dipping sauces to enjoy my pizza.  Now I basically eat more pizza just to get to the crust so I can have more evil cheesy jalapeno flavour.   So thanks, yes, I have a (bad) habit perhaps... not exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted a habit.  I suppose I will keep looking.  And also thanks Pizza Depot, for the extra 5 lbs.  I have enjoyed every single one of them.

Tuesday, January 8

I could write posts like this all day, but I wouldn't make a habit of it

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

 Aristotle 


I often find it funny how there are some realizations about yourself that can only be made through something said during an argument. There are 3 reasons for this. 

1. You have already thrown politeness and candor out in the cold street, to fend for itself, so the path from your brain directly to your mouth is ALL CLEAR. (note: I am not saying that all or even most statements made will be accurate, but I think you should inherently know which ones are and which ones are merely "fightin' words") 
2. The original problem is almost always completely forgotten and the main subject becomes a back and forth collaborative answer to the question nobody asked: "yanno what your problem is?"
3. When you hear someone who knows you say something you have not considered before, you will think about it.  Other people would have danced around the subject all day, in an argument they are as to-the-point as ever possible.. as well as inarticulate, which in my opinion makes it all the more honest.

So, I was having a discussion (read: argument) the other day and although I am now unsure of the context, I was told that I have no habits.  Since then I hadn't been able to dismiss that and basically realized it was horrendously true.  Being the person who has known me the longest, I should have known that.  I have no habits.  When I was younger I used to think of this as an absolutely awesome thing, however I only considered habits as far as bad habits; addictions.  I was very proud of myself that I was not a coffee drinker, didn't smoke, wasn't an alcoholic or drug addict etc etc.  Who would be upset about that?  Nobody.  My mothers side of the family has had trouble with addiction and being prone to that I felt that was really a win for me!  I was free of "things" .. no "thing" made me do anything or behave in any way that I didn't choose.  I didn't "need" anything to get through my day.  How could this possibly come back in my poor favour later on?

What I hadn't thought of was I also had no good habits.  I have no daily routine.  When "X" is missing from my day I am not "all fucked up" .. I don't really feel the need to do anything.  Being habitless has implications that are too complicated to explain in anything other than a short anecdote.  

I went to a Catholic High School.  





Just kidding that's not the whole story.  lol.  It'd be funny if it was though.  Ok so we wore the standard uniforms you see, hear about and most men dream of nightly etc.  I like to boast that I never spent one day of High School in proper uniform.  It's true, too.  I wasn't a rebel but I just didn't like it.  Proper uniform consisted of (many things, there was a list, but mainly) black closed toed shoes, dark knee socks, white undershirt, tucked in oxford shirt etc.  Usually I had at least one of these things totally wrong.  90% of the time it was simply tucking in my fucking shirt.  I just couldn't do it!  I hated it!  I thought it looked poofy, the buttons were off by the time I found a good length, and generally it just didn't feel good.  I would try to tuck it in and then rip it out like there were a thousand fire ants crawling all over my body.  I tried wearing the rugby shirt or sweaters instead so I would not have to tuck anything in but let's face it.. way too hot in the summertime ok.  Anyway back to my story!  Grade 10 I had a very very nice teacher named Mr. Felice.  He was just so likable, and naturally he taught Religion and played folk music on his guitar.  Really vanilla granola stuff.  If I remember correctly most people did well in his class but I think I ended up with the highest grade.  Great guy, easy class, right after lunch, NO problems.  Only thing is Mr. Felice.. while he liked me fine and everything.. was one of those teachers that really believed in the uniform system.  All our teachers were required to make us comply with the rules, of course, but he never turned a blind eye like some would.  They all had classes to teach so who cared about a shirt, as long as you weren't wearing gang colours it was OK.  Anyway I respected his position, he was a nice guy after all, and I understood.  I still wasn't going to tuck in my shirt.  He very politely asked me to please tuck it in before class, at least! and when he caught me he would apologize and regretfully sent me to the office.  I never once was upset at him about it, though.  I said "Yes sir, no problem!  I'll be back as fast as I can!"  I attempted to find ways to avoid being caught.. rush into my desk and put a sweater on my lap so he didn't see my shirt.  It would've worked better if I didn't sit in the front.  Basically he, like yourself, was baffled as to why I didn't just simply tuck it in.  I was a nice girl, I was smart, I did well in school, I was not a rebel in any way, I liked my teacher.. so what was my problem?  I'll say again I had nothing to prove.. trust me, the kind of person who has something to prove is NOT someone like me lol.  I have no "problem with authority" though you'd find some strong arguments to support that, I promise it's merely the arbitrary I have a lack of understanding for.  Also I suppose someone with something to prove would not choose uniform rebellion to make their point.. about whatever it was.  No, I just couldn't do it, and more importantly, I didn't feel that even with consequences in place that I really needed to do it.  Arbitrary rules weren't things I concerned myself with, even when I had all the reason in the world just to make my life easier by doing them.  It's literally as if what happens is totally out of my hands, even if that is far from the case.

That right there is my problem.  Somewhere in the process of living, habits have been regarded the same as arbitrariness, things determined by my individual preference or convenience rather than by necessity.  And now that I've realized this, YES, I do envy people who have habits.  Good habits are obviously necessary.  I want a useless habit, even.  I need to have one very badly.  When I work out I have already specifically, unknowingly, created a set of my own arbitrary rules that I know if I don't follow it to the letter.. like directions.. I might as well just give up right there.  I NEED to do every minute it tells me to do, in the way it says, like baking instructions.  I realize this tendency has saved me from becoming an alcoholic 3 times now, while I'm being honest.  I just couldn't keep up with the habit.  That is good news and also slightly creepy.  Alcoholism lost???  To habitlessness??  


To wake up and feel like there is nothing you really want to do is strange, now that I realize people probably don't wake up like I do.  Though I think most people can relate to that in some degree.  I assumed I was just a procrastinator, that I really did have habits but no.. what I do have a few of is compulsions.  That is almost more confusing.. like why I taught myself all the words to Lauren Hill's Doo Wop (That Thing).  I have to work harder at every fargen thing (I re-watched Johnny Dangerously recently) because none of it is involuntary, things I'm used to just doing "just" don't exist. I'm going to admit it is tiring.  There are no little motivations, even when I give myself some, I forget about them.  A reward does not give me any more urgency than no reward.  If you tell me that getting my drivers license is the only thing I need to do for you to buy me a car... I would think "That'd be nice" as if it were totally not up to me.  Even the reward of self satisfaction, which I like!, or of pleasing someone else by what a great damn job I did.  This is ridiculous to say, but true; I literally live based on if I feel like doing something or not.  I suck!  Awesome.  Welcome to your mid-twenties. 


Resolution I'd most like to accomplish this year:  Pick up a real habit.  That's right, while other people are resolving to quit things.  I'm resolving to quit quitting.

Thanks to Sean, the ice-hole who argued with me.  I appreciate it but if you do it again I'm going to punch you in your cork sucking mouth.  ;)


Friday, January 4

2008 the year of sleep, and learning?

Happy 2008 everybody! I hope many of you have not fallen ill but let's face it, chances are you have. So, sorry to hear that. I myself have had a stomach flu for 2 days (ie. eternity) so I am just now getting back to things. Or at least, I'm getting back to the spot I think things were when I left them last week.. and we'll see what happens!

Snakes on a Plane! I already have a lesson for the new year:

If you feel sick, don't wait all day in the lying down position "because that's the only thing that doesn't make me want to throw up" and see if you will feel better before calling someone. You will end up nearly dehydrated with just one sandwich in your stomach. Just call your grandma, she will bring soup, then go get some gatorade and don't bother with the Doctor. They won't give you anything because they WANT you to vomit and shit the evil out of you. Your begging for sweet sweet death is merely something that "is going around" Just FYI.


Otherwise.. Christmas was great



My grandma even humored me and made my Christmas Morning Pancakes.  Humored me as in she thought it was ridiculous, said so, told me she was humoring me, and then made them.  lol.  In retrospect I suppose having a kit is pretty ridiculous.  



New Years was also awesome.  Me and Sean went out to dinner at Milestones together, then stopped at Andrea's for some Guitar Hero 3, the countdown, lots of wine, games, gun shooting and crazy hats!






A very special video will be posted next time. Until then, enjoy 2008. I know as of the 10th my new mattress will be here and then basically nothing on earth will matter ever again. lol. Did I mention I can't wait??
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