Saturday, May 31

Pizza and Beers

I do not want to tell you what the search winner was this week... it's that gross. The only thing someone who looks for "white" animal porn online wins at should be a going to jail contest.





So I tried some Organic Beer from Mill St. Brewery and it was actually really fantastic and extremely drinkable. I was at odds with getting some of the coffee beer for myself and now I know I totally should have! I usually pay attention to stuff when I buy it like, are there any other cases missing? Is nobody else drinking this because it sucks, or like me they are also afraid to be the first one to try it? Sean actually denounced Heineken in favour of this Organic stuff just to give you some idea, and he was a big fan of the first, so I'd definitely try it if you're interested in sampling a new beer this summer. And it's from Toronto!

Oh and I've decided my torrid affair with Pizza Depot is over. I bought some Brooklyn Style pizza from Dominos this weekend and everything! So you know it's really over. It was pretty good, too.. not AS good of course but hey.. losing the 10lbs by simply not eating it will dry my tears. See I'm making grown up decisions, I can't eat anything I want is a pretty obvious self-imposed rule.. if you're not me. Ahhh life. What's next, make the bed everyday?

Actually I tried to make that my new habit and I got to about a 3 week streak. Why oh why can't everything be as easy to maintain as eating pizza?

Sunday, May 25

little or LOT


Google Search of the Week:
fun things to do with daddy that doesnt cost a LOT

I'm not sure how high maintenance your Dad is, but I assume this is for Father's Day coming up and not that your "daddy" makes you pay to hang out all the time. So this is a cute question then, I might as well take a stab at it in case this person visits my site again for some reason and I suppose something that wouldn't cost CAPS a lot but be fun to do might be: buy some cheap seats at a Jays game on a weekday, build a kite to fly (or umm model car) or maybe going for a bike ride and stopping at a cafe or something for some sandwiches. If your Dad wouldn't like those things, there is always fishing at a conservation area park. And if your Dad really isn't into anything whatsoever, you could sit on a park bench and make fun of other Dad's and their sons/daughters doing those things.. that's always free!

Today is gorgeous and I want to get out there so I will be brief: I took Andrea to Seasons Restaurant in Oakville, we sat in the wine cellar which was so cute and the food was FANTASTIC I will absolutely go again! Possibly take my Dad for Father's Day if I can get a reservation, though don't add that to your list of things to do that don't cost a LOT. Andrea was definitely surprised so that was a total success, then she threw keys at me for lying to her haha, AND the party was also great but my mouth kinda tastes like day old gin (aka evil)... bleh! Pics to come later on.

Friday, May 23

Lightnings

[my current desktop: www.vladstudio.com]




My neighbour asked me the other day if I knew of any nice double strollers; I didn't, but I told her she should really check out Criagslist. Then she asked me a reasonable question "isn't that weird, like, aren't there some real weirdos on there?" and I admitted ya, once I had some theater producer come to my house to buy my junk as "props" and then decided to tell me all about his play IN HIGH ENERGY. Apparently he thought I was an actor because my "eyes lit up" when he mentioned he was part of a production. I think lots of people mistake that expression for interest when any normal person would know it means: what the hell did you just say? is this how I'm going to die? If you remember my story about Mother F then I'll just mention I used that expression quite often! You could even describe that look at quiet frozen contemplation on where all the weapons in the house are located.

Anyways, after telling my neighbor this I rethought if getting any money from things I'd throw away is really worth talking to strangers more than I already do. That is until last weekend; I just bought something and basically didn't need it anymore so I was selling it for exactly what I bought it for. I got a great deal on it though so it's not like I was "JYSK Indian Mirroring" anyone. I got a few responses in like an hour and one lady was just unbelievable. She actually emailed me to let me know someone was looking for my item and willing to pay more than I listed it for, apologized?? and gave me all their info to get in touch with them. I obviously thought wow, that's a first, but told her really I am not looking to make money so whoever picks it up first is welcome to it the way I priced it. She not only jumped in her car and was here within 20 mins, but also intentionally gave me MORE money than I asked for. When I realized this I ran out of my house and asked if she needed change, and she said no "I'm happy with it, thank you!" and drove away.

Now THAT'S how you do it. I was in total shock! Compared to the usual, I'm happy to say I finally found an awesome unusual lady. Oh Barbara, will I ever see you again? lol.




Andrea's going away party is tomorrow night and sadly I am still happy and excited for her! Should be a great night, we're going to a really new fancy-pants bistro for dinner before all the liquored up fun. My mission will be to make sure the party is just enough fun that nobody cries, so if it starts getting too fun I will pay someone to throw up on something. You can't wait to hear how this turns out already, I bet.

Wednesday, May 21

Cute and Angry


Cute and Angry, originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

I hope some people have seen the Dr. Seuss movie Horton Hears a Who... not that it will stop me from telling this story!

So Ethan here has seen the movie a number of times and I have to say it's a pretty good movie, however, when you show a 2 year old with an imagination this elaborate story about people living on flowers you get: yelling into a dandelion so fiercely that there is actual yellow residue left on his mouth as if he half-ate it ..as seen in this pic.

He really must think they're assholes because none of them have talked back yet. Not only do I enjoy beyond belief when he makes angry expressions, but I never tire of watching as he runs into this large field full of these dandelions which you can see in the pic and "carefully" picks out "the one" just like Horton does. I mean really, you have to see it, but I assure you it's unbelievably adorable.


Also, yay for figuring out how to blog a flickr photo!!


In other "news" (as in it's new, not that it's real news): I now own a Lululemon black scuba hoodie and it IS in fact crazy-awesome. Especially so since I got it for super-cheap and I really need it for bike riding this summer. I've decided I can own ridiculous things as long as I myself don't turn into Miss Lululemon 2008. That chick, and we all know her, is ultra retarded. She wears a monthly salary on her body and still she is not in shape and everyone knows it! Anyways.. while we're at new things I will mention my Chiropractor experience for my back injury is going fantastic! I'm improving and that is neat, especially for something I didn't even believe worked before. I also have my wedding dress right now sitting in my closet looking incredibly hot, and won't be on my Flickr as "news" for a little bit. Sorry!

I added another facial expression pic however, which I like to think is probably the best WTF-face I've ever encountered.

Monday, May 19

Long Hot Summer

Victoria Long Weekend Search Winner!
Google: DAVID HASSELHOFF ARE YOU HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND



Short answer, yes he had a party. Long answer, it was just with himself and some Pepsi that burst out of the floor. Don't feel bad for him, it's not like he actually invited anyone else.



This weekend we tried to get this biking thing going and discovered a nice new trail by the house.. unfortunately it was way too cold to go out again today so hopefully when it warms up on Wednesday we'll be back out there. Really looking forward to taking advantage of the warm summer days/nights; you know, until future global warming makes our front lawns, shady trees and small animals burst into flames on a "temperamental" July afternoon. Not as nice to bike in, that is, until I perfect my ice suit. It'll be just like those cute neoprene wet suits you put on your beer bottles in the summer with those giant zipper rings and terrible colours, except packed with ice and for your whole body. The only thing missing from my invention is how, when the earth is int he process of melting, we will make that ice. Oh and also another small speed bump of how to give people the will enough to live, let alone enjoy a nice bike ride. I figure I have about 35 years to figure this out.

By the way I watched the documentary The Corporation and now I'm afraid to buy anything. Anyone else know about the thing with Hitler and IBM, because I sure as hell didn't! I think I would have remembered that history class.

Thursday, May 15

It's love



Had to add another post with the new Weezer single the greatest man who ever lived. I will be buying this album with glee. Actual glee. I've been waiting a long time for this. <3

Valuable Information


I wish the rest of this post had anything to do with that awesome graphic but it does not.


Instead of scientifically proving how my milkshake is better than yours, I'll tell you about probably the most guilty secret I have. No, its not Nutella + Pizza Depot + Starbucks donuts. That is a very good guess though! but those aren't technically secrets. I have to give you some back-story first, if you don't want to read it you're welcome to just look at the chart again and skip a paragraph.

When I was 10 my mom took me to the dentist to have my loose tooth pulled. I've had a great history in my life with teeth that just want to hang on, and many string pulling at home and eating apples stories. In fact I don't think there was a single baby tooth that DIDN'T want to hang on, so anyhow, my mom thought it best to go to the dentist for one of the larger back ones. This also began my illustrious persona of "acting super brave really makes everybody happy" and it really did. Never failed to make a great impression. I swear this particular time the dentist used a small chubby screw driver to actually pop my tooth out, and it hurt, and I was mad. My mom said she would buy me a present for being so brave this time, since it's probably the only time I complained (a lot) and if I knew any swear words I would have used them (a lot). She took me to a jewelry store and told me I could pick out whatever I wanted. You have to appreciate the rarity of this occasion since we were not the family who had extra cash to buy jewelry for no reason.. so I picked out this cute gold ring with a green stone in it. My mom said I could have it today, or I could wait a few weeks and have my birthstone in it. I picked today! Later on my mom wore it, bleached the floor all the time with it on and it broke.. never to be fixed and worn by me.

My mom lost or broke my jewelry on a spectacularly consistent basis. Earrings, necklaces, rings.. so my grandma took all my stuff to keep with her which was fine with me since I don't wear jewelry unless I am able to never take it off. Two of the MOST important pieces of jewelry I had kept away (for me to look at and not wear) are my solid gold charm bracelet my grandma put together for me over many birthdays, and a 24k large gold locket my great grandmothers bought for me with their pictures in it "so I'd remember them" and had inscribed and everything. I mentioned I'm half Italian at some point right? Ok I hope that was obvious. Anyways, so basically all the jewelry on earth really didn't matter past those two things and I was allowed to wear them for special occasions.

When I was 16 I went to Italy with my grandparents (yes I just realized it was 10 years the other night and that blew my mind) and was the last time I got to wear the braclet and locket. I actually didn't like them because they were *gasp* yellow gold! so I kept them in my room there. One day we went to visit my grandfathers aunt in one of those old people's homes .. which is a lot different than the ones here.. and she was just the most fantastic lady. I just loved her; of course it helped that she was just nuts about me and said awesome stuff like I'm as gorgeous as the sun and touched my face all the time. lol. She spent her entire life as a nun, as did her older sister who was also in the home but didn't speak anymore, and when she left there after 50 years they gave her a gold watch with her name inscribed on it. She gave it to my grandparents to give to my mother since they share the very same first and last name. Not that it has anything more to do with the story other than this woman isn't alive any longer and I just adored her, I'll add that she felt so badly about not giving me anything like she did for my mom that she gave my grandparents $200 to get me whatever I wanted on the trip and also took me to her room and told me I had to pick out something to take with me. She didn't have a lot of items in there obviously, being a nun and now being in a home, and a few years ago the figurine she let me have fell off a shelf and broke, which broke my heart, and I keep the head in my jewelry box.

SO!

I begged my grandparents not to give my mother the watch and they did anyways and yes she broke it by wearing it to do the dishes. She took it apart to "dry" and lost all the pieces somehow. That made me feel fantastic. These are just things of course and materials do not mean anything but even I was taught better than to lose something someone gave you and my mother is a gypsy as far as I'm concerned. So here is my guilty secret, at last, which would've had no meaning if confessed to you without telling you the entire story: I lost my locket.

For 2 years I have been sick over it, and there is no way in hell I can ever replace it or not let my grandmother go to her grave thinking I have it. In fact I lost the charm bracelet too, until this Christmas when I opened the packed box of ornaments and found it in there! What happened I don't know but at least one of those items back and that makes me feel a little better. I mean, when someone spends time and thousands of dollars collecting charms for you from your childhood, you try not to leave it behind when you pack!

Maybe I should put out an ad for lost and found: 1 gold locket plus chain missing, pictures of two sweet old ladies in it who are no longer living, inscribed "All Our Love, Anna Maria" .. if found please return to THIS FUCKNG IDIOT [insert picture of me]. I am even WORSE than my mother?? How did that happen!!?

Sunday, May 11

Thanks for not killing me


This week the search winner is someone who googled one of my "26 things I've learned in 26 years" questions. Is dating someone 20 years older ever ok?


Honestly I am so glad I can help you realize you never want to date someone who's been eligible to vote for 3 years, driving for 5 years and drinking for at least 1 year..... when you were newly alive. If you want to put that even more into perspecive, as an infant you sat there pooping yourself and making noises and couldn't make out shapes or see anything past a few inches in front of your face. That same day the person you're screwing right now could have been passed out on his girlfriend's couch from drinking all night then drove home in the morning.

So you see why the answer is NO, no it is never ok. That horrible screaming and yelling your dear mother did to get you here? Yeah that's the same scream she will give you when you tell her you're dating someone 20 years older than yourself and who could blame her, that's just disgusting!!


In closing, don't forget it's Mama Day! It takes a special person not to kill anything that pooped all over them regularly. Think about it!

Wednesday, May 7

And don't forget when you leave why you came




So my buddy Andrea is leaving at the end of the month for Calgary, like I mentioned sometime before. That really, well, makes me happy for her... but I am going to miss her a bunch. We've been friends since grade 6 or 7 and have lots of experience staying in touch and not needing to hang out a whole lot to be friends.. so I'm not overly concerned. I just don't want her to miss home or anything but I should be flying out there pretty soon to see her new digs.

When she called to ask me if she was doing the right thing, and wasn't sure she could leave everyone I said: Dude (and I'm paraphrasing) I know so many people who get pushed out of their parents place.. pushed into a job and it becomes a pattern for their whole life. Deciding to start your life in a new province in as little as 2 weeks, and accomplishing that? It's a great marker for what else you can do. It's something I think about whenever I am not feeling very productive, need to get my "shit together" and it always helps me, so I hope it will help her.

That and some Ikea gift cards!

Today has been an exceptionally difficult day, which is possibly why I have been thinking about her leaving. I suppose though, at the end of it, if I didn't question my limitations at least a little bit then I would be made of nothing in the first place. Cheers to the roadblocks, then! Else I'd have no time to stop and enjoy a gin & seven at the end of a hard day. Literally, I've had 3! If we're working on a scale of 1-5 then I will definitely have to alert you when a 4 or 5 gin and seven day comes up.





Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came.

Adlai E. Stevenson

Friday, May 2

Sell crazy somewhere else

Search of the Week Winner: Google: as good as it gets sell crazy somewhere else





So after the car accident I kind of realized there are worse things in life than living in Hamilton. It's true! I've lived elsewhere for almost 4 years and have tried to ignore the real fact that you can relocate yourself quite fine, but relocating everyone you know is a real challenge. I used to make the weekend trips, as if I didn't actually live somewhere else, and after buying this house in Oakville I finally said OK I will be an Oakville girl, not a Hamilton girl living in Oakville. And it's fucking nice out here, but it's really nice for retiring maybe instead. We could weekend it here instead, all the cool shopping I love, the strawberry picking and crazy starbucks everywhere. Let's be honest here, I was born in Hamilton: where people look at you strange if you make eye contact, where saying "good morning" as if you know someone would get you beat up for being "sarcastic", where most of the neighbours dropping by were ones your mother told you never to talk to, or literally dropping from the balcony upstairs because they drank too much at a party. I'm as friendly as they come, but even I was looking for the candid cameras... is nobody in the town having a bad day? ever?

Still, I could live in Oakville my whole life and not mind. It'd be honestly entertaining anywhere I'd potentially live, but my family is Hamilton and will basically never leave. Sean brought up this moving to Hamilton idea this week, ironically....but I think it's just really obvious my grandfather is going to die in a few years. While that is hard for me, I suppose I should prepare for it and maybe buy a nice big house rather than this extremely expensive small one, full of pretty stainless steel and granite, that is miles and miles away. I've started looking and this Sunday we go see a huge victorian house right by my parents (but on a nice street.. not a crack street. yes it's almost like black and white checker streets in Hamilton.. crack, nice, crack, nice, crack, nice. truth be told 50% of Hamilton is fantastic, but you'd never know it). If we like it, great, maybe we will move. I'd love to have some huge problem with where I am now, so I have this gigantic reason, the only one being it's not where my family is at and overall... I guess that makes me less happy. Or more like, I don't have a great reason to stay in Oakville other than it's a nice place to live. I'm sure Sean knows that, and I am lucky he'd persuade me to move us somewhere he never particularly liked. I would have honestly never brought up the idea in a million years, but it seems like he's set on this being a good thing to do. I agree... I can still do the daycare and maybe take some nice trips to Gage Park and the Children's Museum.

If I'm giving off some hesitation it's merely my own stupid idea that living out here was my choice, and I guess want to feel like it's clear I do not have to, but am choosing to move back because I will stay there aaaaaaaaaaaand not have my crazy family over every damn day! Hey what, I've gotten used to my privacy lol. You know, being close to your family is great but we are still talking about MY family!



Wait a minute... I forgot the police here are totally bored assholes! OK nevermind, get me the fuck out of Oakville.

Thursday, May 1

This is an Ex-Parrot

Number 1 on the 50 greatest sketches of all time is "Dead Parrot" by Monty Python. My dad is a huge Monty Python fan yet somehow I had not seen this before. 39 years later I'm not sure if I will still be laughing at Dick in a Box, however this is clearly still hilarious. John Cleese is probably the only British comedian I actually find funny.. can't wait for the Pink Panther 2 next year. Maybe I'll take my dad.


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