This is the first desktop wallpaper I've made in a while. No real reason.. just had a little creative time. I won't blame you if you don't like it due to the weather outside...
View/save it at Flickr original 1280x800 size. Or you can have what's behind door number #4......pictures of cats LOL captions.
Monday, December 29
This is the first desktop wallpaper I've made in a while. No real reason.. just had a little creative time. I won't blame you if you don't like it due to the weather outside...
Step 1: Get a square of wrapping paper and place it on the bottom of the candle, then start taping the sides in overlapping folds.
This should be the finished product of the taped folds, all the way around.
Step 2: Take the rectangular piece of paper pictured underneith the candle and just wrap it around. Secure with more tape.
Step 3: Tie a bow around the top to cinch it/make it look super professional.
Step 4: Don't turn it around. Ever.
Step 5: If you haven't cut the paper as jagged as possible, go back and do that. It's important.
Now if you think you can't repeat this with normally shaped packages you'd be wrong.
For 'Ann Wrapping' to be in the best form possible you must set the gift up to only look good from one angle. You know, like those women who look better the farther away they are? Just like that but with presents.
The recipient of this gift, my secret santa-ee, totally thought this was normally wrapped until the candle! Damn.. almost.
Friday, December 26
I didn't see anything worthwhile but I had already bought some really necessary things at an unnecessary time during a 50% off sale. Like, fall and spring clothes on Christmas Eve. Of course I was in the store for ONE thing, what the hell was I supposed to do except buy 10 times more than that. My point here.. there totally is one by the way, you're not reading in vain today.. is that when you take a good look at all the shoppers out there and myself included, I think we have a set price point programmed in our DNA somewhere.
I discovered my price point is: $6. I wore my six dolla shirt today and it made me invincible to sales.
Tuesday, December 23
Andrea didn't want to go to rehab. The tats look good...
Golden Girls... Anna-Sophia, Antonella-Blanche, Alisia-Rose and Maria-Dorothy
Monday, December 22
I also grabbed coffee, bumped into a cousin of mine on the street - had a freezing chat about strip clubs, ladies who cry in Tim Hortons and getting me a discount at Ikea - and I found my hubby at home when I got back :) Not a bad day, if you don't count the freezing! And I don't. My physio/chiropractor lady was also totally nice and I'm seeing her again Christmas Eve morning. I wonder if I should bring her a slice of my Mom's awesome birthday cake... being at a gym makes you rethink eating the rest yourself.
Also having to give your physio lady an account of 'things you do for fun' makes you rethink how fun you appear to strangers. The only activities I came up with revolve around children, and Rockband. Then I laughed really hard because a profound revelation came over me that that was it. Being 'full of life' doesn't really count as an activity unfortunately. I kinda want to start taking classes at something just so I can call her up and add it to my poor little list!
"So I forgot to mention my rock climbing interests.. and I am a Firefighter, part time of course. Three months out of the year I brew beer in my garage called Awesome-Stein. Did I mention I'm a Nudist Trainspotter? I also participate as much as I can in Franco-Prussian War reenactments"
See if Andrea hadn't moved all the way to Calgary I would be already have at least 2 of those on my list. I blame her for not being here to come up with these ideas. Fuck you, Calgary.
Sunday, December 21
ya so we should take a trip to michael's one day and have a rose topiary party
LOL you must be bored
we could drink tea and everything! yes.. i am ...
Saturday, December 20
I will say though I have not had any bad shopping experiences this year other than one incident with a child who walked right into me because he had Santa-Brain. It's my mom's birthday and first official day of winter tomorrow. The fam is coming over for coffee so I got her a cake, I already bought her a Christmas present so she gets screwed on gifts before then. I'm sure having a December 21st birthday she is used to it by now.
It's an awesome cake though.
I'm also hosting Christmas Eve dinner with Sean's and my family together. The only thing I am not excited about is the fact that, how can I say this... when my grandmother comes over she decorates my house for me because apparently I have no Christmas spirit (aka I don't like giant angels and snow globes).There is something wrong with me, everyone. I don't enjoy massive Nativity music carousels on my coffee table.. it's like I'm the new Scrooge. Let's just forget our stockings, tree, wreath, dishtowels, and kitchy "light up" and "musical" Christmas shit she brought over to my house last year which I put out. I even have a Naughty/Nice door hanger ;)
I enjoy my house the way it is and would just appreciate it if every free space was not thrown up on by the holidays. Christmas Eve dinner I am just inviting her to bring more, though, and I don't know if I can bare the glittery poinsettia's. I humor her the best I can but when I picture her putting me in a gold-leaf apron or fake snow-spraying my windows, I sort of want to shoot myself. She keeps doing this and I'm going to go to her house and start taking Jesus memorabilia off the walls and see what she thinks about that. Obnoxious? No.. I just think your house has too much shit in it.
Friday, December 19
Question: What is the last movie that made you cry? If you are one of those people who do that.
Answer: Funny you should ask, I just today saw a movie that made me cry. For some reason the past couple years I now tear up at just about anything I see on TV. I know I have mentioned this anytime I reference Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.. aka. Extreme Tear Factory: Eye Edition. Clearly I have not come to terms with being a freakish tearer-upper. A Cottonelle commercial could cause me to get watery eyed if it had the right music. Anyyyyway. So I saw Seven Pounds today and fully did not want to cry at all, and thought I saw it coming - especially because of Will Smith. He is the worst at needing to make you cry; Ali, The Legend of Bagger Vance, I am Legend, Pursuit of Happyness... it's like be feeds on tears. But it was sad and I cried at the end.
Answer: Obviously! I don't know why my eyes and brain aren't in constant communication.
Answer: I don't know, maybe Martha Stewart baked a particularly precious batch of cookies.
Answer: It's a toss up between being bothered that the fountain in front isn't centered and the homeless black man walking in traffic with a sign that said George Bush raped my dead sister. Symmetry stands out more than it should I guess.
Answer: Of course I have.. it's my question! The only thing I could say not too many people have done is I got to go in a professional kitchen of a NYC resturant after-hours to cook myself some scrambled eggs. Not illegally either.
Answer: Actually a Prius... it'd be hypocritical if I got leather seats, wouldn't it?
Answer: My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Heffernan, was sitting at her desk during a recess and I went up to her as she poured her boiling hot water into a teacup. I happen to like glass mugs and I asked her if that was special glass so it wouldn't crack in the heat. She told me it was. I said well it's still too hot to drink for a while.. and then she said no, she just puts an ice cube in it so she can drink it right away.
That's it. It's a good idea.
Answer: For some reason I really recall a particular champagne commercial actually.. at least I think it was champagne. Hochteller? I don't even know how to spell it but it had a lady with a top hat and bow tie. I also remember that fig newton commercial where they unrealiztically snap the cookie in half and it's supposed to make a cool sound. Do you know how many fig newtons I ruined before I realized that was a sound effect? And I didn't even eat them.
Answer: "I Wan'na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)" from the Jungle Book.
Winter hasn't even officially started, yet the GTA is being pounded by a blizzard that could leave anywhere from 20 to 25 centimeters of snow on the ground by Friday night.
- CityNews: Let it Snow
I submitted that picture to the 'wanted: storm stories and pictures' section and it's up: if you want to browse through the rest of Snow-mageddon pics up there you'll see mine. Here's some others I took from the warm safety of the safe warmness of my house. I don't want to be a dick but I should mention I got a Christmas card and homemade chocolate biscotti's dropped off at my door this morning. It's kind of a good day for me.
All that haze is in fact snow, just in case you thought there was something wrong with my camera. Like I said before, it's like a mini ticker-tape parade of icey death.... and now it's angry. Ironically Sean and I were laughing about this sketch from Rick Mercer just last night. Who knew!
Thursday, December 18
Last year was probably the most laid back/fun year I can remember - which is really helpful since it was just last year. Man I cannot tell you how fun that was. Some restaurant reservations, Kings, funny drunk hat exchange, Guitar Hero and shooting guns for some reason. So great.
Since we couldn't possibly top it, we're doing the very spectacular Champagne Dancing and Dinner thing with most of our friends. And maybe the hats.. you think I could bring them just in case? Just the viking one then. That's right, I'll tell you what's classy!! Vikings. It's history coming alive.
Wednesday, December 17
Long standing injuries suck quite a lot of lemons so I'm a little annoyed that I may have one (that will reoccur without going back to the Chiropractor or taking up Yoga or something) ever since our car accident in April. Don't worry, I was the only one slightly injured... even if the girl who hit us claims she had a heart condition. Yeah I have a heart condition too when I total my car, 360 an SUV and sideswipe another car. It's called I'mTotallyFucked-itis.
But really it could have been so much worse so I'm very happy this is all I have to worry about.. ahem.. now I will continue whining.
Anyways.. this is the 2nd time I've basically paralyzed myself in pain by simply sleeping on the couch or in the case of a few days ago.. a wake-up stretch. Not even a big one, like.. cats do, with the insane lunging and acrobatics. Since I'm not 80 years old, am in good shape and actually have somewhat of an athletic upper body I'm going to admit going back to the Chiropractor is a fantastic idea. After the accident I went all the time and then I felt better and just stopped going... because I am stupid apparently. Like those people who made penicillin not work anymore.
While I'm in bed, and not doing anything at the moment I suppose I will share one of my favourite Christmas things.. 8 days away, yay!.. and that is my favourite ornament.
My mom gave it to me the Christmas of 1988. This year is 20 Christmases she's been on my tree :) Ya, I add. I convinced some children last year that she comes to life at night and bakes cookies, if you're lucky when you wake up you can still smell some gingerbread.. but only if you really believe in Christmas.
I thought about not continuing that story since I convinced a girl of this who later told ME all about the stuff she found out Jesus can do. Like kick a soccer ball to the moon.. because Jesus can do anything. She had such a serious face on, it was adorable. I didn't want to touch that one with a 10 foot pole...
That's right sweetie, the gingerbread ornament bakes cookies at night and Jesus can make it snow indoors. They're the same see because they're both stories baby.. now let's never talk about this again.
No wonder parents go to Church; they have to ask someone what to tell their kids to cover explanations to other religious stories they told them. Like how Jesus can do anything, but doesn't for some reason. You know, he really doesn't want to bring back your dead cat because it's so much happier with God than you. No that doesn't mean you should be dead too. He wouldn't like that. Why? Because........ let's go to Church and pray about this.
I love that line... pray about it.
At least Santa is pretty contained.. comes once a year and lives in a place you can never go. And he just KNOWS if you're bad. End of story!
For 8 days, you must post something(s) that made you happy.
Yeah I can do that. Ok so day 1 is really easy!
That's my birthstone by the way, fyi, ps and ou la la.
Monday, December 15
All that really separates are those bushes so it's kinda hard not to notice. He can reciprocate the stalking in the summertime I guess since we have a big firepit in the back.. and a huge deck for BBQ s'more making. Now that I think about it we really should befriend them and enjoy both seasons of backyard enjoyment.
Anyhow, the Christmas Rockband get-together was so fun I ran out and bought redbulls at 2am just to stay up longer. It didn't work. The highly anticipated (by me) Pots de Creme dessert turned out the way it was supposed to, I think, since it was really good but I had no idea just how CHOCOLATEY it was! I couldn't even finish it, and that means it's dangerous levels of chocolate because otherwise it would be gone. I was about to overdose on chocolate. Actually the only person who did finish it was Rob and he apparently will eat anything.
Ann - 0
Pots de Creme - 1
Sunday, December 14
Friday, December 12
Instead of various fancy glasses, which I don't have, I just used wine glasses which I have a lot of! Lush, sure... but also you will never see something mismatched in this house. I'll pretend it's a theme because I also bought quite a lot of wine for the party. After this you add some whipped cream which makes it looks extra fantastic.. but it's still chilling in the fridge so I took pioneer woman's picture of the pots de creme. Those are hers, and her recipe is on her site as well.
I can't wait to serve them mostly because I think I have a leg up on PW's (very simple and therefore awesome) recipe, which is: Decadent brand semi sweet chocolate chips! As in the same ones in the famous Decadent cookies which I am not sure she's ever tasted since it's a Canadian thing. Fuck yes! I knew I occasionally loved my country.
Ahem. I am calling this dessert Decadent Coffee Pots de Creme.... just to be fancy and complicated. Really what are the holidays if not that, right?
Thursday, December 11
Coming from someone who hasn't tasted pop in such a long time.. if it doesn't have rum in it.. maybe is what helps tell the difference but I'll swear to you I was certain before they tasted the same. Not that I want to give you the impression I ever really was a pop drinker, just like meat eater. Really I become thirsty so infrequently that when I am I want to have the ability to gulp something down with complete abandon and I'd like to not have to stop because I have to burp the Arabic alphabet or I'm going to die. That's just me though, that's just what I like, when I'm drinking something I prefer: refreshing and unable to clean rusty pennies in a science experiment, in the description on the back of the can.
Last night for some reason we ordered out and the meal came with Pepsi and I had a glass.. it was disgusting but it was clearly different/better from Coke. So there, I said it.
There will be a confession of this magnitude every 250 posts. See you all in 2 years.
Edit: to be fair, this site has been around since November 2001 so I guess I'd owe the internet at least 2 more life-shattering confessions. I'm tempted to make one of them about processed cheese.
Tuesday, December 9
By nature children love repetition so I could (read: have) read the same story over and over again and they could not be happier about it for some reason. It is actually me, the professional teller I am, who prefers new stories and I happen to find a few of my own childhood storybooks at my grandmothers house which I stuck on the shelf for such a day. A day where I don't care about Thomas the Tank Engine and the School Trip! I've read that thing 700 times at least and every fucking time he has to go work and can't take the children home.. but oh, low and behold, Bertie the Bus breaks down and he saves the day! There is a lesson for you there, by the way, and it is in life there is always someone telling you to work and it ruins all your fun until something terrible happens to someone else where you can take advantage of it. It will all work out for you through a series of inconspicuous and unrelated incidents.
Note: This is exactly where I think the famously classic idea from stories or movies came from: to mislead a person into thinking everyone forgot about their birthday/whatever so the surprise at the end would be extra awesome. No, sir or madame, I hate to tell you that you basically left them upset, depressed all day and considering making some toast in the bath later. The party at the end is equally comparative, at best, to how much the rest of the day probably sucked. Oh, you got me, I thought everyone I knew turned into a huge dick. Boy is my face red now.
Anyway so today I pulled out a really crappy looking book of a duck with one working googly eye, dressed with a chimney sweep hat and a hobo pack. I was a little excited to see what the story would be about, and read the title out loud The Frightened Wolf ...oooou. So basically this is what happens.. there is a wolf who is coming to eat all the animals in the farm, nach, and one chicken gets a great idea to grab the rabbit and bravely go off into the forrest to stop him, bravely, again. What was his genius idea? From the look of the cover, maybe he convinced all the animals to run away from the farm and join the circus. I have to admit I was a little curious.. the wording of the book was unusual already so I didn't have a guess at where this was going. And I read.. well.. this is the actual excerpt from The Frightened Wolf.
what a fright the wolf got when he heard the conversation between the duck and the rabbit. "how mean to send us away from the farm because of this epidemic. pity anybody who eats us!"
Did the author die in the middle of writing this and they had to publish it to cover the costs of buring him? Otherwise that is the fucking stupidest thing I have ever heard; an epidemic!? You want kids to A) know what an epidemic is.. B) the plague is the idea that won over all other reasons to make a hungry wolf go away.. and goddammit C) logically the wolf would say thank christ I didn't eat the rabbit and chicken and then just go to the farm anyway because all those animals weren't sick! But no, no this is the reaction..
the wolf didn't wait to hear any more. he ran away as fast as he could. "I must get at least fity miles away," he thought to himself.
Of course, ok so children when you're afraid of things you should never listen to the rest of something and run at least fifty miles. At least.. else it's not safe from ANYTHING. The illustration actually had speed lines, too. I hope nobody read that story to me too many times, but knowing my mother, she did.
Sunday, December 7
Too far? I do that sometimes.. pretty sure this was one of those times.
I also just decided that I want to eventually replace my sink with one of those deep porcelain farmhouse deals. After figuring out what those style of sinks are called I finally found the right description for the new house other than cute/lovely/home-y/warm or whatever else came to mind when people asked, which conjured up my own images of a house made of gingerbread, candy hearts and sunshine. Not just sunshine either, the special kind of sunshine that only shines on sleeping lovers on Christmas morning in Paris... it'd also be powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. Anyways, ok allll done with the sarcasm.. I think. In short, I was pretty unsatisfied with my cute description, I was sure there was a better word and farmhouse is a good word to have come by in my crazy sink search so I was pleased. Oh I also asked Santa for dish towels for too, by the way. Why I'm turning Christmas Day into Martha's pantry supply store is beyond me, like really... oh and I have a pantry now and I like it. There, I'm done.
I'm enjoying the ramp up to the holidays so far. I also love that in Burlington they have the balls to say Merry Christmas on their buses. No Happy Holidays here.. just Merry Freaking Christmas, and if you don't like it, suck it. It being a candy cane or something cheerful... it's Christmas after all.
It really makes me wonder though, for those who are apparently offended here in Canada in recent years and made a fuss about what they want advertisers, or co-workers to call Christmas. Let's face it, who else really pushes the holiday in your face but them. But still I'd love for someone to explain why calling something a Holiday Tree makes them feel better.. and then they go buy one, decorate, take the day off and exchange presents. I mean, how overly-polite is it that we'd feel uncomfortable about our own holiday just in case we possibly offended someone ever about anything. So I thought it'd be a great idea to make it a requirement for people, like pedophiles, to register on a public database about their 'anti-merry Christmas' demands. Hold on before you go off about comparing people who don't like Christmas to molesting children... I just can't think of another registry. Haha. Ok so then when passing their houses everyone could make sure they have no Christmas decorations around, else we steal their tree or whatever. I haven't figured the 'retribution' part out yet but I'm sure those who do find it ridiculous we have to think before we say Merry Christmas to someone, would think of something.
Humbug.com could be huge.. I'm just saying! Right now it's just apparently a Redsox poem blog. Odd.
Friday, December 5
So today I found myself needing to heat up a soup and I said hell let's give this piece of glass a try. Wouldn't you know though I stood there astonished when my soup became hot! It's not exactly new technology but doesn't it just seem like maybe it shouldn't work?
Totally unrelated, because that's just how it goes.. I tried some organic wine last night that Sean brought home called Green Rabbit. Very very good, but I'm convinced that my organic hangover the next day means it was a lot stronger than regular wine. Must be the lack of pesticides. Keeping that in mind I'm definitely picking some up for this weekend, but I'll just fill my glass halfway.
So excited for my cousins to be coming by for coffee tomorrow to see the new house.. I've been having tons of company since last Friday and it's rather nice. Also nice is the fact it's so freaking cold out and I totally get to go a pool birthday party tomorrow, for Brooke's nephew Liam who turns the big 2. Fun and sugary cake will be had by all! I hope everyone else is having/has a entertaining and holiday shopperific weekend too.
I just said shopperific? Wow.
Tuesday, December 2
Everyone wants an imaginary unicorn friend that they can call forth to smite their enemies. The Avenging Unicorn Play Set has everything you need to use the power of the unicorn to rid your life of irritations. Put the posable, 3-3/4" tall, hard vinyl unicorn on a flat surface and then impale one of three 3-1/8" tall, soft vinyl figures included (businessman/boss, new age lady and mime). Also includes four interchangeable horns (classic spiral, chrome, glow and pearlescent).
Monday, December 1
Fact: I basically only cook two things on the George - Tofu Hotdogs (they fit perfectly in the grill spaces, and it makes it easy to turn them to the uncooked side) and Grilled Cheese. I wonder who in this house has to have those everyday? Hmmm.You know your brain is done with the packing/moving experience when you actually find yourself, day 2, back at the old house to 'finish up' and instead of taking the leftovers out of the cooking pot and frying pan.. rinsing it and putting it away to wash at the new house you: throw the whole shebang in the garbage. DISHES DONE. What, oh that pot with pasta in it and the frying pan I hate anyway? No, my brain said I'm done with dishes earlier and that's final. We aren't going back to the land of I forgot one.
Our new home on the other hand is so warm and lovely... packing annoyance aside, it's a real treat for us to get be settled before Christmas which makes the slight rush around worth it. I made sure the first thing we did was put the wreath up on our front door and we should be unpacking our decorations and doing the tree tonight. As wonderful of a time we had in Oakville, with the Starbucks and great neighbours, I am so happy we get to end off such a special year for us in this home; although I'll have to learn to love Domino's rather than Pizza Depot which is slightly upsetting but do-able. Sean is lightyears ahed of me on that task, he's enjoying the cheesy bread and fist-sized pepperoni. I suppose it was rather good I GUESS. Now if only the house wants to unpack the rest of the dishes.. oh my goodness, it audibly said 'No fucking way' right after I typed that... unbelievable! The sass on this place. Ok well I'm off then.. oh and