Thursday, March 5

'The Bachelor' I'm just not that into you

I love to watch finale's of various shows, mostly because I can't stand to watch slow progress.. especially in something like a dating show. Just sum it up for me, thank you.. I vote Coles Notes on dating. So I tuned in to The Bachelor finale, which as you probably heard by now, was a total freakshow! Background: guy: Jason, divorced.. single dad of a really cute kid and got shafted on the last Bachelorette = totally likeable. So as much as you can wish for a person you don't know to be happy, that's what I was tv-viewer hoping for. What actually happened was so crazy I sat there looking as if I just witnessed an execution.

After a whole 6 weeks of trying to make it work with Melissa, the girl he chose to totally-like-seriously-marry-me, and spent all the holidays with her and his 4 year old son... he says
"yeah, so it's not working, I gave it my best shot, I made a mistake I should have picked Molly!"

Then DUMPS HER on tv, she rightfully calls him a bastard and hands the ring back while telling him not to ever contact her again. That is when I proclaim outloud to my equally shocked husband sitting next to me that this guy is so lucky, I would have fire-bombed his house. I mean, I had How Stella Got Her Groove Back arson fantasies about a really annoying yellow truck for gods sake.. if it were up to me there would be nothing on earth to save this man from a violent verbal beating until be became nothing but a shit-stain on the couch. Dignified and classy? not exactly, but consider what is classy when before his and Melissa's 6-week engagement is even cold in the ground he is making out with Molly on the very same couch, 10 mins later. Boy, what a fairytale! Can't these people ever do things one at a time? Why is it so unrealistic to break that engagement then, just, GO HOME? yanno, call it a day?

Ann Curry, I love your wtf-face

If I made a mistake like ask the wrong person to marry me, I think I'd take some time to evaluate myself and my life. But not this guy, it is almost as if he likes making retarded decisions virtually all the time. Reason #590 why people need to hire decision makers, and make that a real job. How would you know you need one of these people?
  1. you've asked 4 women to marry you
  2. you say things like 'I need to follow my heart' when you have no other explaination
  3. you've been to more than 3 psychic expo's
  4. you'd consider naming your child Tiffaley, Tayber or JaCole
  5. you regularly ask for signs from the universe before you do anything
  6. you consider the limiting of candy and chocolate to children to be abuse

I could go on but you get the idea. Now you'll have to excuse me while I get lost in the fictional world where a Decision-Maker exists and creates enough jobs to solve the economis crisis.


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