Sunday, April 12

Happy Jesus Died / Chocolate Rabbit & Egg day

It's been an busy weekend so far - it's not really over, tomorrow my parents are coming over and doing turkey dinner here. Friday we had a great dinner at my Grandparents house on my Dad's side, then yesterday Sean's Mom came over for some Russell Williams. This morning, the BIG EVENT, though was very chilly but fun. Sweet children shoving their way to find as much 'chocolate' as possible (it was really just chalk), and lots of games, balloon animals, hot dogs and fire trucks etc. Little Ethan ..or as he likes to refer to himself as JUST ETHAN, pretty much stalked the Easter Bunny in-a-suit guy the entire time like a huge celebrity.. Omg guys, it's him!

What I really want to talk about though is that while we were at the Egg Hunt there was a pretty ridiculous "Great Glasses" marketing campaign going on. I understand the rest of the kiddie things, like Discovery Toy set up or the Sharkey hair cutting place giving away coupons but a giant CROCODILE was walking around with a sign on for $149 frames and people were paid to basically throw eye glass cleaner at you. As an eye glass wearer I can see why I'd notice this but 1. what does this have to do with kids? and 2. Great Glasses is going under and everyone knows it's because they don't have licensed people doing your eye exams. and 3. seriously this thing was for children, on easter, and a crocodile in-a-suit was what they went with.

I find marketing to be unintentionally funny basically all the time, and here's some prime examples just off TV from last night. A pair of sunglasses that go right over your own glasses because DEAR GOD! sun comes from the side too! so you should wear these things that look as if you've just had eye surgery or are blind.

Get this though, not only are they cool looking but they claim to give you HD VISION and everything will just POP right out at you.. because real life isn't HIGH DEFINITION enough. I mean, I constantly complain my sunsets are sub-par. I expect more definition.

Next, a commercial for a crystal cross with the Lords Prayer in the center stone, real tiny like, so I have to look at it all 'special' to read it. Do you know how many eye injuries have been caused by reading the Lords Prayer on the bus? Like 52.

It also claims that when you look at it it "almost miraculously appears" .. because micro-etching is a miracle. What a breakthrough.

Stem-cell research though, that would be wrong. I only like science if it makes the lords prayer super tiny or you can put the Bible on USB key or something.

And since I have the floor.. a quick comparison of what pisses me off about re-branding. Re-branding obviously only works if there was something that wasn't working about your original brand anymore. Here's what I mean.

Brand that needs to be re-branded: Dr. Oetker.

Nobody wants to buy lava cake mix or ready-made pizza from a company that sounds like someone who gave out poison injections during the Holocaust. Just saying!.. re-brand that.

Brand needlessly re-branded: Cottonelle -> Cashmere. Dominon Grocery -> Metro.

Cottonelle apparently didn't think it was a soft enough name for my ass. I need softer. I need... cashmere. As a consumer I want to associate ruining expensive sweaters when I buy my toilet paper. Cottonelle, their little jingle and their kittens were not good enough brand recognition.

Domnion also wanted to trade in their VERY recognizable brand loyalty for something that sounds like they don't even sell food there. Is it an underground railway or fashionable mens store? Groceries is on the bottom of 5000 of the things the name Metro would lead me to believe was sold in the store.

Ok I'm done, thanks everyone for listening to my presentation. Have a great chocolate marketing day.


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