Wednesday, April 15

Let's get graphic for a minute

I used mashed potato as a spread on my turkey sandwich today. Easter leftover week really needs to end (or we need to eat it faster) before I do something else ridiculous, like gravy pie or fried stuffing balls.

Hmm stuffing balls.

Oh and *graphic description ahead* watching Dr. 90210 has given me a whole host of new nightmares. Last night I was introduced to the idea of a gay woman taking massive hormones to grow and then "freeing" a lady's clit for gender re-assignment surgery, then putting testicle implants in. If I had been standing, I may have fainted.

I would literally beg someone to put an open spinal tap in my back forever than do that to me, and I don't even care if I was "living a lie" as they say. It was explained even that it wouldn't really allow you to have regular sex, so, I now have a cringing fear of knives for what I can barely see as any reason at all. As far as living in the wrong body, I'm cool, I am fine with the idea you need to take your boobs out, grow man hair, but when it gets to the down below you strap something on! For the love of all that is good in this world there is no reason to ahhhh I can't even say it! They didn't (couldn't) even show the actual surgery and my imagination started yelling "yeah so you know that one time when you were 9 someone gave you the idea of what it would possibly be like sliding down a razor banister? well this just replaced it, enjoy."

I swear I only still watch this show because I'm waiting for Dr. Rey to realize he is super gay. And I mean SUPER. I mean really any guy who treats his hair, talks with a jovial Latin accent, wears more flower shirts than your grandmother, tans the shit out of himself and actually refers to women's breasts as "melons" has to look at himself in the mirror sometime! It will happen one day!

Seriously.. melons? who says that?

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