Saturday, September 5

As Promised

This is the story of one of the worst Movers since Hitler's Dead Body Movers, where they move dead bodies into your home, or that waitress that served us that one New Years Eve started a Moving company, and how I nearly threw my iPhone at them. I will keep it as short as possible while including a little backstory.

We used these movers before and they were very helpful, we couldn't have recommended them any higher and gave them a tip on top of the fee at the end of the day. We made a point to use them again because they were a small company and could use the business. Ok backstory done.

So I have no tv, no internet, and it's 9am (the time the Movers were scheduled to arrive). I'm feeling good, moving day, woo! I have a little coffee, start listening to music and quoting Metric lyrics on Twitter. 9:30am rolls around, I've done the last of the dishes and give the Movers a call to see just what's going on. The guy "Larry" tells me he "lost my number somehow" and called me to tell me the guys were stuck in traffic, but had no idea how long they'd be so he'll call me back. Larry calls me back in 15mins and says they will be here in 10-20mins. I unpack the fridge, do a last load of laundry, text, listen to more music. They show up at 11am, 2 hours late. As soon as they come inside they tell me I need to sign something and give them $200 in cash before they will even start. I happen to have enough cash but made a point to call "Larry" again and let him know that he could have told me this when I booked my appointment if their policy changed, and he could have also told me this in the TWO HOURS I was waiting for them to arrive.

I read and sign the contract which has tons of hidden fees of course, which is fine, like 4 hours minimum and fees for number of flights of stairs and I calculate how much the end amount will be. I check on Sean to see how he's doing in the new place, consult one of the movers about leaving the deck and shed stuff for a second trip if we need it, and wait around for my friend Brooke to arrive around noon to keep my company. We chat about how ridiculous the movers are so far. I give them Coke to drink.

1:30pm arrives, they are done and leave the house. Brooke and I go in the fridge and pack up some more stuff, and I run around collecting whatever to bring in the car with us. We see the movers are still in my driveway and haven't left, I walk over to ask why and the guy tells me he is "figuring out my bill, and how much I am going to owe on the other side". I wonder why that is since we're not finished, and I mentioned to consult Sean about a second trip since I was right and it all didn't fit. We go to Wendy's to get lunch and arrive at the new house just as the Movers arrive. I am not pleased that they have basically fucked off for a half hour or more that I've obligatorily paid for. And they have a bunch of cash and all my worldly possessions... makes you kind of, nervous?

They hand Sean a bill and he paid the whole amount before they even started moving the stuff inside... tons of new "policies" I see from last time. We eat and I see the bill and nearly puke my fries when I see they charged us $80 for the GAS it took them to get from Scarborough to Burlington .. I am pretty sure not a lot of people have a job where they charge what it takes them to get to work. Not. Happy. NOT HAPPY.

I admit I made many comments so they could hear me about my dissatisfaction. Why write a comment card about it, right? Anyway, I've been stressed for the past two days and these idiots weren't helping so by the time they were finished and we go back to the house to meet them and put the rest of the little stuff on the truck for the second trip, I'm a little worn out. They have the same distance to travel but we're waiting there for them, again, for like 10 mins until I have to call and ask where they are. He says he "took a wrong street" and takes another 5-10mins to get to the house. One of the movers says he wants to see the shed, I assume to see how big it is, and actually thought I meant to move THE SHED on the truck. I laugh and show them the two bikes inside and a couple garden tools. They put it on the truck and claim they are DONE.

Yes they think they are done. Brooke and I are not sure what the hell they're talking about since there's a whole bunch of stuff in and outside the house NOT inside the truck. What happens at this point, I am not responsible for. It is a fact, hand to God's bible, that this guy actually freaked out first for even asking him to put that extra stuff on the truck. It was a scene from some movie where there's a smokey hut in some jungle and a bunch of people with guns who don't speak english, gambling with the lives of chickens. This guy, who actually was Haitian, wasn't even speaking the same language as me anymore at one point.. yelling and jumping around my backyard saying things like "I quit" and a bunch of other stuff that made total sense. If you've seen the Dane Cook bit about how various cultures fight, it was exactly like his description of how black people have one guy who stands completely still he's statuesque while everyone becomes insanely animated around him. Well this guy was the animated guy. It was like talking to a dish of rabies.

I called Sean to let him in on the fact we paid them, yet they were not even going to put some lousy deck plastic crap in the truck, which Brooke said she'd even help put on there for them, and why would we pay extra for a second trip for them to move my bike and shovels?? I could move that with a van for one, and more importantly these guys were not listening because they knew very well that I have mentioned "the rest of my stuff" to include ALL of it, especially the deck things because it was sandy I had mentioned; and clearly not things just inclusive of the most insignificant part of the yard. I would never have said that and did not.

After we brought the Christmas stuff up from the basement ourselves so they wouldn't have to charge us for an extra flight of stairs.. it culminates, verily, into the Movers actually just screaming and yelling at two girls ... and me LOSING MY SHIT completely. Before I was just being assertive but make no mistake LOSING MY SHIT was ugly and nasty.. so I am lucky for the fact I rarely ever lose it. If not for that you would see a bunch of news stories about how the Hulk is real and scared she shit out of children at Walmart when it tried to return something past 90 days!

You see with all their breaks they decide they've worked the 4 hours and just sat down and refused to pick another thing up, yet got "lost" and "sat and used a calculator" for far more time than it would have taken for them to throw this crap in the truck. 15 mins of getting nowhere and realizing they were literally just going to sit there and keep yelling and arguing with me and NOT move any of this shit that WON'T fit in a van, I tell the guy who says he wants to leave that I also wish he would leave because all I want is my stuff on the truck! It is why we got movers! Then I tell them to get the fuck over to the other house without this shit then, thanks a fucking lot, and see Sean about it, and then I believe I called two perfect strangers pieces of shit and almost hurled my iPhone at them. Yep.. it went there. That happened.

Oh and I'm really "glad" nobody got hurt.

Sean, somehow, was completely calm after we overpaid them at least $200 of "extra fees" which never happened last time and didn't add up the way I added it, and had a bunch of stuff still left at the house unmoved.. the yin to my yang as the saying goes! We should probably all be very glad for that because the universe pretty much couldn't handle us both losing our shit. It took me a good 30-45mins to calm down, Brooke and I went to get some paint and beers and that was

the end!

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