Wednesday, October 7

Things that taste like other things: the killing you edition.

I had to take a glucose/diabetes test this morning and the stuff they give you to down (in 5 mins) tasted awfully like that McDonalds orange drink.  My throat was burning with dextrose saturation... ick!  It made me pause a little bit, not just because I was about to throw up, but that it was the second time something so wrong made me think of McDonalds.  The first time?  Rancid kitchen garbage in the bottom of the can.. kinda smelled like Big Mac sauce.  What did I eat today?  A Big Mac.  I never learn! 

I need hypnosis due to McDonalds invading my flavour DNA as a child.   Everything to eat there seems not even to be hamburgers and fries anymore.. but some kind of voodoo spell that makes AIDS taste like something you actually want. 

"Hey guy.. can I have one of those burgers?" 
- "Uh sorry dude we don't actually call them burgers.. I mean, legally we aren't allowed"  
"Alright well I'd still like one"  
- "Ok"  
"Now I can't help but notice just you just got that out of a box labeled AIDS patties"  
- "Well that's basically because we do something to AIDS to make it taste good, blah blah.. yanno I really shouldn't be telling you this"  
"That is terrifying but I still want one"
- "Are you sure?  You're crying"

"I'm sure...."

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