Monday, November 30

Our money will eat your money



The rest of our money might be friendly and colourful but this is totally badass.. so suck on that, other countries currencies! This Canadian Tyrannosaurus Rex Silver Coin is apparently the third in a series of four dinosaur coins being released this year. I haven't come across any but if I had I would have a really hard time spending it! It might shockingly make collecting coins COOL.. for a limited time only.

Read: I will hoard these and make them stalk and eat other money.

Sunday, November 29

Birthdaying








It was a two birthday party day yesterday, or COMBO birthday if you like.  I had a fantastic time!  It was as equally hilarious to watch toddlers jump, leap and smash into a huge inflatable pirate ship (and hide in the treasure chest as Booty) as it was to eat some really great food and watch a bellydancer jump, twirl and shake her golden cane (and past-its-prime Booty). 




What, don't you remember reading about the ancient art of cane-ings in history class?  Well Alisia got CANED!  I'm telling you right now I don't think I've laughed so much.. it was almost painful!  We learned some great dance moves though.. and the falafel goodness has stopped haunting me finally. 

Friday, November 27

Difficult to Say

Just a little funny from Forwarded to Me.



THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Thursday, November 26

Little Family

So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty. All other pacts of love or fear derive from it and are modeled upon it.
-Haniel Long




I put up the wreath on the door this morning and thought about how anything else in my life just hasn't been as important. Not exactly the wreath itself exactly, although the glitter did make me very happy. There's a difference when you're part of traditions and when you start them - as is when part of a family and when you start one.

I also should mention I watched the latest episode of Criminal Minds and cried my eyes out FULL ON. I was a weeping mess for like 15 mins. I'm not a robot or anything but generally all you're gonna get is a couple of tears, especially from TV since I think I've documented my hatred for Home Makeover very well by now and crying about fictional characters is worse. I swear to god though if you saw it and didn't cry you are a monster! I'm just saying.. you're dead inside.. that's all.

Wednesday, November 25

"Jersey Shore"... I think I love you

MTV claims the show captures the "hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos" who "keep their hair high, their muscles juiced and their fists pumping all summer long!"






Finally some real entertainment! Hahaha.  I don't see why any Italian-Americans would be protesting this.. they already said they weren't Italian they're GUIDOS.  It's not even the same thing!  Lord I need to see more of this show, the preview alone is the most entertaining thing I've seen in weeks.

Tuesday, November 24

A Little Wild



We had a new playgroup yesterday which went pretty well until it was over.  Tears ensued.  Limbs were flailed about.  Demands to take Potato Heads home were made.  It all went pretty well considering that was only maybe 15 mins worth of "the wild things" :) 

And then I realized I had forgotten totally about my very LAST ultrasound and that hijacked pretty much the rest of the day.  I have, over these months, gotten to know a lot about random caregivers and workers.  Even friends and family members.. people like to share!  I think it's a great opportunity to find similarities with myself and people I meet.  I mean, I should probably at some point branch out from only knowing the same 5 friends from school (as great as they are) since they have stuff going on in their own lives OR move across the country and never ask how I'm doing.  Uh anyway.  It's a lot of pressure and I guess I'm now interested in new people because they're nice too, I guess!  So far I've met some cute moms or currently pregnant first time moms who swap "is this NORMAL?" stories, ladies who are excited they spell their name like I do (I told you it was a big deal) or have the same birthday as my due date, etc facts.  Yesterday that happened where the woman doing my test has her birthday on my due date so I asked.. how big of a celebration can you have 3 days before Christmas?  She said she was a Twin and apparently they both liked it since it made Christmas a really BIG deal.. but they would have their birthday party in November sometime.  I am not sure why I ask that question since my own mother was born a day before my due date (and only 35% of births happen on your actual date anyway) so it could be anytime, and not a big deal when we have parties.  I have a few cousins even born earlier in the week and it works out great.  I still like to ask though because the answer is always different.  Twins!  Makes the idea of a combo day extra ironic :)  I suppose you would like doing things in combos lol. 

See you can make a friend everyday! It's the holidays!  Be friendly.

Saturday, November 21

Smarter than what?




After a day of shopping we had an encounter on the way home with a 70 year old woman who not only talked a lot (this is how I know she was 70) and dressed weirdly, but surprised me by being the first elderly lady to attempt to be super hip at the same time. Here's some of the key phrases to pick up the hipness and general "of this generation"ness she had:

  • use of the word Cool
  • mentioned Mac computers as "the best"
  • was wearing coordinating pink and red all the way to her socks
  • HIGHLIGHT - in fact had pink sketcher sneakers on
  • and a red beret
  • went on about running a marathon (although she usually just does half-marathons) at least 3x
  • praised new parent family member for using cloth diapers and organic stuff
  • let everyone know she has a leopard AND zebra print purse - is into the animal prints
  • would only refer to Toronto as T.O. (tee oh) a number of times

Then out of nowhere she asks "Are Syrian's and Lebanese people close to one another?" (someone answers her) and I swear to God she just goes ......pause..... "They say they're smarter than JEWS!!"

Ladies and gentleman, I was truly tired and only mildly enjoying having to hear this lady chatter on, but in that moment I nearly lost my shit laughing that actual tears formed from the effort it took to stifle it. It was the longest 5 mins ever until I actually gained some composure and of course I couldn't EVEN look at Sean.

Dear god though, was that awesome.

Friday, November 20

Original programming




I was watching what seems to be a remake of a British show in the 60s called The Prisoner. The updated version is just 6 episodes so it's safe to say I'm already done the whole thing, and I thought it was pretty good! Not amazing but it was interesting and shockingly (as can be said for much of my existence) included so many Simpsons references that I recognized.


There are so many shows today that just lack imagination, it just doesn't give viewers enough credit. No wonder sci-fi stuff gets cult followings.. I mean who really LIKES Stargate SG1? Nobody. But it's sure a creative and different story than: Oh someone was found dead, let's discover who did it/what happened by: working the story backwards (Without a Trace, Flashpoint) going through a bunch of DNA, fibers and particles (CSI: ny, miami, las vegas..etc) scaring people into telling us (Law and Order SVU) or plain clever deduction (The Mentalist, one other show I can't think of right now). I say that full well liking The Mentalist. The rest of the shows? Pretty much just medical dramas. I have never been so uninterested in broken bodies, crime and dead people.. TV made it predictable!

This is why I will be extremely sad when Lost ends this season... at least I have Mad Men? and Fringe, sort of.. when I can stand the blonde chick and her hair.. and Flashforward has the potential to be really good. Can anyone make it so there's one show like this every night? All I ask for is 5.

Wednesday, November 18

Starting to look like Christmas


There might still be yellow leaves on the ground, and my decomposing pumpkin family feeding the neighborhood squirrels, but after the Toronto Santa Claus Parade I'm definitely feeling the Christmas spirit. The decorations and floats were GREAT but I suspect it had a lot to do with navigating the absolute mess of people that was on the streets that day. I mean, wow. And everyone had strollers just to make it better! Just reminded me of holiday mall shopping...

fa la la la la...

The weekends are counting down, and there's one more parade next weekend which I am very much looking forward to being normal.

If you're looking for early Christmas ideas my Dad sent me this link to the online catalog of Hammacher Schlemmer. Check it out!

Monday, November 16

Space.. now where babies come from.

I'm telling you again, the most horrible cake ideas ever come from babies being born.  More proof.





I cannot wait to get my own announcement Vader cake.  Except, yanno, it's a boy.  Complete with.. WTF.. planets?  I would almost be relieved to know the baby will be born on the death star and then an evil half robot man will just hand him to me, but I am pretty aware by now that is just not how it's done.

Damn.

Toronto Santa Claus Parade pics are coming!  Oh, the madness and Christmas magic!

Friday, November 13

The Solitary Meals

I made myself a pretty kick-a lunch today. Usually I reserve that kind of energy for my breakfasts which before this pregnancy I barely ate, like I think some people must.. dick around in the morning and then at 11am you double over in hunger and go "ohhh yaaaa". It couldn't have just been me! Now I eat it right away, and usually it's some kind of cereal with fresh fruits. If I may go on a tangent, so far I've tasted quite a lot and become a little bit of a fruit fiend. Shockingly strawberries aren't my number 1.. it's Mango! Nothing beats mango in cereal, though raspberries are a close second. Mixing them together is my new life goal. The worst? Unripened kiwi. I had a little suspicion it wasn't quite ripe this morning and it couldn't have tasted more like ass.



This is valuable information!



Anyhow so today I put some effort into my lunch. It's true that I neglect myself, generally, which actually had been a point of contention between Sean and myself until I think he realized I don't do it on purpose. Really! I'm just this self-neglectful. So it's really sad that I was pretty proud of myself for putting the time to try and re-create a tuna salad sandwich I had ordered on the weekend. And a tea! Though the tea was my accidentally boiling water and then deciding to let it go and make tea out of it, so that's only 50% credit I get for that. My sandwich I think maybe I needed a little more mayo.. and a food processor.. but overall it went really well! I even put lettuce on it!

If you're looking to add something new to your own tuna sandwich, you might not have thought of red peppers before but try them! I personally don't like the "salad sandwiches" mostly because of all the fucking celery.. I can't escape it! So the red pepper is a nice crunch to it without being celery :)

I wonder about people who make both lunch and breakfast (the solitary weekday meals) like this everyday.

Wednesday, November 11

Tasty Aunt Gladys

Remembrance Day "things school has lied to us about" from Paul's Ponderings.  I particularly like number ten.

10. Different parts of the tongue detect different tastes.

What, your elementary school health class lied to you? Turns out, taste buds on all parts of your tongue can detect all different tastes, though there are slightly increased sensitivities in different areas for some people. Want proof? Try dipping the dip of your tongue into some coffee grounds and see if you can taste the bitter. As my great uncle Ralph, who lost half his tongue in 'Nam, used to say, "Hrm rmrng rmhrm mrhng!", which translates to "I don't need the front half of my tongue to taste your aunt Gladys's sweet ass!"





Hope everyone is enjoying their very tasty day off!

Tuesday, November 10

Must be the warm weather

Today is one of those rare days.

I unexpectedly had nothing to do ... and then got a call from my cousins that also unexpectedly had the morning off and were coming over with tea. Win win. Now I get to see my husband actually home early for once, who also had a very different rare day. I also feel a little like if I don't cut off my hair this minute I will be sad forever.

A little melodramatic I realize.  But also..



It's not good when your houseplant just explodes leaves. It's literally as if it just GAVE UP.

"Fuck it, I'm done"

Saturday, November 7

Nienie

I had stumbled upon the Nie Nie Dialogues blog many months ago.  I am not a regular reader but I do find myself checking in every once in a while.  Short bio on the blog is her and her husband were in a plane crash, survived, and are dealing with the aftermath of their injuries and rehabilitation.  And 4 children.  And the life they have in the community they live in.

It's a hard blog for me to read, but fascinating... and inspiring.  And not at all like my life in the tiniest bit.

It is written from a religious angle which I just don't relate to personally; the inspirational part for someone like myself is her struggle with self-perception and coming to terms with her "new life" as "someone else".  I cannot imagine the difficulty if you not only were in pain but did not look like yourself or feel like yourself when others looked at you, and for Nie Nie she goes on to describe how hard it is getting out of bed knowing that.  Wishing she still was as beautiful as she was before, and having to redefine what that means to her.  You can go a large part of your life as one person and suddenly it could be taken away.. and I suppose victims of accidents and things like that are told constantly they should just be happy they're alive, they are still beautiful, there is so much love and sunshine in the world etc.  Something was lost, though, it was.  I do not find acceptance inspiring, especially from a religious standpoint, so that's why her blog is so great.  I am inspired to myself be even more genuine when we see loss, and just be there when people we love are going through it, and not need to be a reminder that there is sunshine in the world because the sun comes up everyday whether we remind people of it or not.

Wednesday, November 4

Zombie Plague

I'm officially pissed off at this flu because I just had our hospital call and tell me that the birth tours are CANCELED... indefinitely. She actually said we should just wait a few weeks at least and call back, however she's sure they probably won't allow anyone until "H1N1 is gone". Just, gone. They'd like it to get up and leave. While I'm happy they are being EXTRA careful and all that good preventative stuff, to my knowledge we are not dealing with the black plague. Canceling Halloween for kids and forbidding pregnant ladies from going to the hospital where they can ask questions and see how things work probably won't help that much for the FLU. I mean really why don't I just boil some water and do this thing at home then.

You know, I just hate situations where people like to think we're in the movie Outbreak. Stop looking for the monkey, don't line up for 4 hours PACKED with people when you aren't on the high risk list to get the vaccine, and let's all just stop watching the portion of the news that doesn't really inform us on anything but instead just showcases interviews of regular people's opinions of how it's scary and how unsafe everyone "feels". Celebrities are getting it for GODS SAKE! They're like, the best of our people!




I have literally seen pamphlets on how to avoid the flu and to properly wash your fucking hands? Cutting edge stuff.. I am so glad I have access to this kind of information during uncertain times! Someone correct me though if during the time I was just asleep last night H1N1 turned into the plague ok? That'd be really embarrassing!

Sunday, November 1

Things that look like TWO other things

I was watching a special on the Bee Gee's and their comeback when I couldn't help but lament on how much Barry Gibb looks like a caveman.  Like a lot. 




Upon a search for a good Barry Gibb caveman photo I ran across another blog which makes the same comparison, and apparently TMZ did too.  Let's be real here people, I never say all my ideas have to be original to be brilliant.  Here's a prime example of how you can do "looks like" totally wrong.



Old Barry Gibb and Burger King?  No fucking way.  Just no.  Wrong.


However!  Sean and I are watching the Yankee/Phillies game just now and he IMs me:



If there is anything I love more than something that looks like something else, it's when TWO things look like it.  And.. that's how it's done!


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