Saturday, March 27

Driving Miss Messy

People who hoard things is one subject my husband finds fascinating, so his 'Christmas morning' is us watching the A&E show Hoarders - where I've found the term "governing the hoard" to be possibly the most psychotic reference ever.  For some reason it makes me imagine an insane man wearing a burlap sack screaming commands, in the rain, at hundreds of sewer rats with menacing red glowing eyes.

I'm not normal... let's continue..   

My Mother and Grandfather are both mild to moderate hoarders so it doesn't really put me off to watch so much until we start talking about actual garbage - like food garbage etc.  Last episode was a woman who honest to god hadn't thrown garbage out in a year and had a fly trap dangling above her bed where half the bed was covered in a mountain of decomposing food and pizza boxes.  I understand it's an illness, I have compassion, but if you are sleeping with garbage then you need to get the F away from me before I throw you in the shower and pelt you with Ajax. 

Well yesterday we were out and at a stop light we turn and see this woman.. not just with a messy car but CAR HOARDING.  Mobilized hoarding!  It needs to be on the next episode.  Driving Miss Messy.

Her passenger, Garbage.

I do not like Avocados anymore.  Thanks to strange cravings, I also drank a hell of a lot of Coke for the majority of the year and loved it.


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