Saturday, August 27

the road not taken

I had a particularly weird dream a week or so ago about someone I know being dead.  As in they apparently just died, nobody told me, and I felt totally cut off and lost about it; unsure of what to do now they were gone forever.  In my mind, the world was suddenly empty and nobody lived on earth but me.

I was so disturbed by the feeling that when I woke up mid-night I googled dream meanings on what exactly that was supposed to be about.  I know my friends have all been moving lately.. now Kim is moving to Guelph.. but that just wasn't a good enough explanation for me at the time I guess.  Dreams are all things going on in your own sub-conscious, a way of working things out, and I just wanted to know what exactly my mind is preoccupied with.  Apparently every dream about something dying, being dead, loss.. is supposed to be good or the opposite of whatever it was: life, new beginnings etc.  I remember my friend Andrea and I would always chat at school the next day about our dreams.  She's very Sylvia Brown like that, still is, and I suppose in a way I am too.

I am more than grateful for every path I did not take, even if it took me a while.. or long while.. to fully appreciate every facet of their particular outcomes.  They were always positive.  I hope that although my dream was sad, some part of myself is reassured that things.. even ourselves.. are renewed everyday.  It's hard to look upon the roads you decided not to take and learn anything, if only that life is all about those missteps because they insure your next steps are more purposeful, careful and meaningful.


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