Saturday, December 10

Final Draft

*if you haven't read this post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out... which is now*



Title: That's.... Information
July 28, 2011


Sometimes I have an inner conflict between poking fun at how unbelievably strange my mother is, and telling someone to shut their goddamn mouth for talking badly about her.  Ugh.. this must be what it feels like to be Irish.


You see, my mom has a bearded dragon.. that she found.. his name is Oliver.  She walks around with Oliver perched on her shoulder everywhere she goes.




When we took the kids to the fair, Oliver was there.  She was carrying around a bag of cotton candy and a bearded dragon, with my delightful 5 year old running beside her.  He adores her, btw.  It might have something to do with her petitioning 100x harder than he does for us to get a dog.. in front of him and everything.

Almost every person we saw at the fair (which was kind of a lot) would either stop her to say 1) is it real? 2) zomg! it's real 3) HOW COOL I LOVE THOSE THINGS, LADY STOP AND TALK TO ME.  And then she'd have to talk to them for about 17 minutes.  Her idea, not theirs.

I'll admit Oliver is certainly cool, if my mom was a 13 year old boy and not what I'm sure everyone was referring to her as 'the bearded dragon lady' .. you see my inner struggle here, right?  Like all tragedies in life it is one that will never be resolved.  Fun fact I learned today.. Oliver also has a special lizard harness, you know, for walks.

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