For what reason I am typing this I don't even know, boredom is probably 80% of it, because my iPhone screen is completely shattered and working only due to a huge piece of tape. Has anyone has seen that video of the guy opening his iPhone 4s when it came out and he was so careful about it and then his friend comes out of nowhere and smashes it with a hammer and runs away? If you have you know for about 10 seconds you aren't sure if there is anything worse on earth to happen to this guy.
As the literal glass dust crunches under my fingers I only wish that was my biggest problem today but sadly I almost don't care. I do wonder if that guy caught up to his shitty friend and beat the crap out of him though. Today is like the phone hammer moment played on an annoying video loop. Especially since my boredom today is caused by spending the whole night at the hospital and some terrifying hours watching my baby boy in pain. This is the second time this month I am here with one of my kids that if I hadn't lost my sense of humor about 10 hours ago I'd say something like, with Gabriel being a little like curious George and a rabid dog mixed together.. I might as well invite social services over ahead of time.
I wish I had some control over these things and like anyone, or any parent, hate to be reminded that I am not in charge of any of it. I'm sure it would be a relief to some to give up a little control and I wish I knew what I was about Christmas that makes me want to set everything right. This year that seems far off but even so I have this idea that if I sit and watch the lights outside long enough, at peace enough, it somehow will.